Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one.

Me: Something has come up and I have to go to Mexico.
Husband: What happened? Who do we know in Mexico?
Me: Our youngest daughter.
Husband: She is not in Mexico.
Me: But she will be.
Husband: Why is she going to Mexico?

Me: She has a week off and she needs to stamp her passport.
Husband: Well that makes all kinds of sense. Why didn’t you just say you are going on another vacation?
Me: I didn’t want to sound too frivolous.
Husband: You just got back from vacation, how’s that for frivolous.
Me: That was a road trip, it didn’t require a passport.
Husband: My lord old woman! How much is this going to set me back?
Me: A grand or two. Depends on whether you want a souvenir or not.
Husband: How much is a souvenir?
Me: I don’t know. That’s another reason I have got to get there – to find out.
Husband: Hmm. What part of Mexico are we talking about?
Me: Puerto Vallarta.
Husband: Why not Cozumel or Cabo?
Me: They are too Americanized.
Husband: And Puerto Vallarta isn’t?
Me: Not as much, I hear. If you insist, I could go to Cabo and Cozumel but I would need more time and money.
Husband: If you’re going to stay on the Pacific, I like Huatulco. I bet it has changed a lot since we took the kids – that was what, twenty years ago?
Me: Twenty-one I believe.
Husband: The Cancun beaches were nice… wasn’t there a hotel at Chitchen Itza? She hasn’t seen the Mayan ruins there, has she? I wonder how far they’ve come with the reconstruction.
Me: Goodness man! If you want me to go to Cancun, Chitchen Itza, Huatulco, Cabo, Cozumel and Puerto Vallarta I will be gone for a month or more – Her vacation is only one week. I would have to go alone and I would miss you terribly, wouldn’t you miss me?
Husband: Of course I would. Yeah, you should come on home when baby girl’s vacation is over. I guess you’ll need a manicure, a pedicure, new clothes and a hair coloring?
Me: Nope. I’m going au’ naturel and wearing my every-day clothes.
Husband: You’re not going to cover up all that gray hair? What about those garden toes—you know the last pedicure you got they made fun of your beat up old feet.
Me: Oh, shut up and mix your drink.
Husband: Ahh, that was funny, “you have a garden, yes?” I can’t believe you plopped those mud stained number nines in front of that poor fella. With all of your calluses and cracks — no wonder it took him an hour. You couldn’t pay me to do his job. Who are you calling? Are you calling the beauty shop?
Me: No, I am calling my travel agent.
Husband: Oh, come on. I was just picking at you. Are you going to cancel your trip?
Me: Au contraire monsieur, I am going to extend my itinerary to include all of the places you suggested.
Husband: Salt water and sand do work miracles. You better keep those feet in the water as much as you can.