Who’d a thunk it?

I don’t think I knew Cecilia was a Roman martyr (2nd or 3rd century) until I moused over the name while reading Cloud Wrangler on Kindle. Who’d a thunk it? 😉

Check out the free Kindle preview and then buy Cloud Wrangler at your favorite store.

Tuesday’s Tell All (Clothes are So Overrated)

 

I do not love shopping but my awesome daughter is taking me [us] on a cruise this fall so… I shopped. I do love bargains so the experience was almost enjoyable.

I don’t like trying on clothes either so I grabbed a few things off the rack and hurried home. The husband thought it would be wise to make sure the clothes fit before we set sail. He’s practical like that.

So the amateur model show began…

Yay! It fits well enough and isn’t this a cute little hat?

 

 

 

 

 

Double yay! Another excellent guess on size err-um.

 

 

 

 

 

By the third change the excitement was waning and so was my patience.

“Have you considered some makeup and  accessories?” the husband smirked.

“Have you considered kissing my backside?” I replied through a stress-clenched jaw.

“How about something with a little more color? Maybe some shoes and a pedicure for those garden toes?” he laughed.

Strange, this man can’t recall a conversation from last night but anything over two years ago is clear as a bell.

 

“Lord have mercy sweet baby Jesus!” I grumbled.

“What’s wrong ?”

“I look like a red waffle cone topped with peach ice-cream and you’ve got my feet at war with one another! ”

 

 

 

 

 

“Calm down old woman you look good to me.” (That is his favorite go-to line.)

After I changed back into my ‘don’t give a poo’ daily wear and relaxed I asked the husband if he had been shopping – if he had planned his wardrobe.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He says, “It’s a cruise — cruises are for relaxing.”

“You’re right dear.” Sigh. “Clothes are so overrated. I’ll pack a swim suit and pajamas.”

Tuesday’s Tell-All (Erratic Black Planets)

I (like a gazillion others) watched yesterday’s solar eclipse with great enthusiasm.

I cooed as the shadows dimmed and a cool gray color spread over the landscape. The temperature even dropped a few degrees.

This is nice, I thought as I aimed my Nikon and shot.

eclipse 2017 (1024x683)

I am not really sure what’s in the picture but there is an entire galaxy of erratic black planets orbiting my eyeballs.

Tuesday’s Tell-All (I’m Just Not that Good at Being Smart)

I tend to lag in technology, often years behind the rest of the civilized world. I never claimed to be tech-savvy or even civilized, okay?

Truth is I only got a “smart phone” this year for lack of choices. I went kicking and screaming into the “smart” realm with no intention of using it for more than basics.

After a few months [eight really] I installed the Facebook app. Apparently you need a second app for Messenger so I hit the okay/install that too button.

Alright. Welcome to the year 2017.

So there I was creeping Facebook on my desktop, minding my own business while the app did its thing and suddenly I am bombarded with alarms. The phone started chiming erratically,  messages were rolling in with GIFs and crazy stickers and emoji’s. At the same time my cousin is texting me, asking if I just sent her something.

No! Oh hell, this demon possessed phone has a mind of its own!

To make a long [list of deleting apps] story short… My daughter explained the particularly bothersome app; how Messenger notifies your Facebook contacts with a suggestion to wave/interact.

Oh.

Well I waved bye to most of the apps and went back to using the phone as a paperweight.

Yeah.

I understand now why people are glued to their devices. Bless their hearts, I’m just not that good at being smart.

 

 

Tuesday’s Tell-All (My Life is a Bad Reality Show)

In May I introduced the newest member of our family, Pretty Kitty Puddin Jam.

In July I talked about Pretty Kitty Puddin Jam wanting to be a star and the attitude that ensued.

Now I have to tell you…

Hold on, this has been a hard thing for me to understand…

[sigh]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty Kitty is…

Pretty Kitty Puddin Jam (aka PKPJ) is….

Oh hell Jam is a Jim!

I know! I am so naïve… so unsophisticated!

I was also a bit distraught when I found out.

I tried to normalize the situation by calling him Jim but he refused to answer.  By this point I was so flustered I threatened to have him castrated… emasculated… de-dinglized.

He snubbed the threat and mewed, Pretty Kitty Puddin Jaaam.

“No!” I argued, “You are a tom – a Jim! Girls do not have tally-whackers!”

PKPJ then he purred two words that clarified everything –

Caitlyn. Jenner.

[Blubbering sigh]

I conceded to let him keep his male genitalia but no more news rags or television AND no more pretty bows!

 

 

Tuesday’s Tell All (Personality Shots)

I told you last week that we were going [back] to the beach or maybe I implied it with a photo. I do tend to live my life in snaps and captions, that’s just how I roll. Yep – I am a rolling stone. Never mind the moss clinging to my body that just means I roll a little slow. Don’t snicker; remember The Tortoise and the Hare? The Tortoise and the Hare, baby!

On these occasions I try to lay the camera down and enjoy the moment… let my hair down … and sometimes my guard.

It is not always easy or even do-able but I did it; I relinquished the anal rigidity and chillaxed and guess what? I found out I am not the only one who can take a picture or take control.

The camera caught us tired and sunburned after a day at the beach; fresh out of the shower, pouting, pondering, laughing and maybe crying; discussing or just waking up. Some would say we were caught at our worst. I would like to believe we were at our finest; vulnerable and real and in natural form.

D call’s this collection Personality Shots. Thanks D.

What a clan!

These are only a fraction of the photos taken and a small portion of my tribe.

Sorry, the characters of the Clan Destiny series couldn’t join us, this was a G rated adventure.

Hold on, there is a point to this — Help!

This is the fourth consecutive year I have been honored to be a judge in the FAC annual teen scholastic/literary/poetry event. This year was even more exciting because I am still alive and it was the first reason I have had to shuck my pajamas since last year. Just kidding! But seriously, FAC added a short story contest. Yay!the-pose-533x800.jpg

FAC logoA little aside: Forney Arts Council hosts the annual event but an invitation to participate is extended to several surrounding cities. Just FYI Forney is a booming little town about a stone’s throw east of Dallas Texas.

Just look at the beautiful poets and writers of our future.

Some of them receiving their first check for following their passion.

winners FAC compition

The winners

I am so proud of every single one of them. I know their parents and teachers are too; and the fabulous lady (Tiffany) with a passion for art that keeps this thing going.

Hold on, there is a point to this post —

What was it? ….

Oh yes, Help!

I need your help. It won’t cost you a dime and only a minute of your time.

What? Why? How? You ask?

Well, you see I am scheduled to give a talk/presentation next month on the art of the short story. Actually it is The Art of the Short Story & Micro/Flash Fiction.

The problem (other than the typical butterflies) is I know why I read and write short stories/flash fiction but I would love some input as to why others do.

Is it attention span? Time constraints? Challenge? Amusement? Something else?

If this thing works right I have inserted two polls, one for writers and another for readers. If not…  the comments section is always open.

Thanks Y’all.

Why do you read short stories?
(polls)

Why do you write short stories?

(polls)

Sometimes Truth Is Stranger than Fiction

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago I worked as a nurse. Nurses Janna & Jess.jpg

My daughter (on the left) is a nurse and many of my friends and family are still working in the field of nursing.

I could write forever about the combined experiences of a nursing career. As a matter of fact a few of those experiences fueled scenes in the fictional Clan Destiny series where the main characters (Clara, Linda and Maggie) are nurses. Mary Latrull (another fictional character) likes to pretend she is a nurse and would probably be a good one except –

Oops. I veered off track.

I mention the series now because this is National Nurses Week.

Happy Nurses week comrades, family and friends!

Oh poo, let me ramble off road for a minute and we’ll make this one of Tuesday’s Tell All.

Thinking on the series: when the books stood alone, before they were renamed the Clan Destiny series and before the reviews disappeared from Amazon I had a few comments that the stories were too “far-fetched” and unbelievable.  Yeah, nurses with paranormal abilities. Ha! I’m not sorry, that is why I called it fic-shun.

A handful of people (mostly “nurses”) suggested the medical terminology and/or procedures were incorrect. I know it was wrong but I had to call those to attention. Why? Because I kept “procedural” scenes to a minimum for lay reasons and if practice or terminology has changed that much in the last few years I honestly wanted to know. But nope…

The real thing ‘said nurses’ took issue with was the (occasional) disrespect and unprofessional behavior that I portrayed.  The strange thing is those scenes were all too real. Allow me to share.

Examples:

In book one Maggie curses a bit, insults a doctor and she and Clara have a confrontation, nearly coming to blows while on duty. One ‘said nurse’ says, “#1 no nurse would talk to a doctor like that and #2 Cursing and fighting on duty like hoodlums would never happen.” Truth? It happens. Been there, done that. Nursing is a stressful profession and nurses are human, sometimes we act stupid.

In book two Mary (as a patient) leaves the hospital against medical advice without signing the proper forms.  Another ‘said nurse’ says, “A patient would not be allowed to leave without signing the necessary documents.” I laughed myself silly. Truth? I have chased more than my share of irate, deranged and determined absconders while pleading with them “just sign this and you can go.” Hospitals, clinics and care centers are not prisons; you cannot hold someone against their will and you cannot make them sign a form to c.y.[own]a. (cover your [own] a**)

In book three Maggie, Linda and Clara laugh (in private) and refer to a patient, Mr. Stenchman, as Mean-as Stinky man or Mean-ass Stinky pants. An offended ‘said nurse’ says, “You should not depict nurses in such an unprofessional and unflattering way.” Truth? Sometimes we are unprofessional and ugly and sometimes the patient is a mean-ass stinky man.

I could rattle on about sordid affairs, fist fights, missing bodies/body parts, resurrections, insurance/benefit/patient abuse, medicare fraud and more but I won’t. Not today.

Yes, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

I may write a true tell-all one day but until then I’ll keep changing the names to protect the guilty, add a little ‘what if’  and focus on the fictitious person – not the true profession.

For all of you nurses [with or without imperfections] keep being the best that you can be. Thanks for shoving your own sh*t aside for 8 to 16 hours a day and caring even when it seems like you don’t.

 Happy Nurses Week!

nightingale pledge (1024x752).jpg

 

 

So Here’s What I’m Gonna Do (A Poem & A Picture by Me & of Me)

I have received like 13 emails suggesting I should offer Getting Me Back FREE during National Poetry Month. I could do that – and do you know how many downloads it would get? Probably about… hmm… I would guess thirteen.

A dozen others said I should be posting my own poetry and a handful of gun-ho NaPoWriMo writers invited me to participate in churning out a poem every day.

My inbox looks like a suggestion box right now but you know what? I love that people are so involved and enthused.

So here’s what I’m gonna do.

For the next four days Getting Me Back (The Voices Within) will be FREE. During these four days I will also post a poem I have written and heck, we’ll do A Poem & A Picture by Me & of Me but forgive me guys I cannot handle the pressure of NaPoWriMo, not at this moment in time. I’ll just have to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Getting Me Back

(the poem)SMILING PHOTO OF ME.jpg

Tissue thin transparent bits and pieces

by the millions I gave to you…

To be received, to be tended or

to be rendered useless as you deemed fit

old inhabitants of terra firma.

Slivers of my soul….

What did you do with these pieces of me?

Where are the misplaced microscopic stars of

my spirit, where are they laid?

Did they dissolve beneath a soft autumn rain?

Or burn in the heat of a cruel summer day?

Were they consumed by the dust mites of fate?

Giving me away was easy….

Getting me back seems nearly impossible.

I saw a fleck of glitter this morning,

caught in an abandoned web of time.

I retrieved it ever so carefully, pulling away

the tiny choking strands; polishing it in the palm of my

hand till it shone bright like a

minuscule star… exploding… and

I recognized it as the twinkle I once saw

in a smiling photo of me.