Childs Play (Dino Wars)

There’s no school today and the natives are restless.

I’m not really sure why the children are getting a holiday. They had last Monday off in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.!  How many holidays do these kids need?

Maybe this is for the teachers?

Or maybe it is the day of the Dino Wars. Where dinosaurs and Star Wars meet in the mind of an eight year old boy.

Yes, the same grandson that shunned my attempt at writing for children has Tyrannosaurus Rex pooping a Raptor. Go figure….

Crazy Conversations (Boogers Are Wet)

Boogers Are Wet (Or They Should Be)

Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose…  There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them.
Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one.

sisters
My baby sister was kind enough to accompany me while I had a series of tests done. She mostly sat in the lobby and played games on the iPad, but between tests, we had a chance to chat. It certainly made the ordeal much more entertaining. This is how I repay her.

Sister: Why did you tell the nurse your baby sister would be driving you home?
Me: Because she asked me. If I can’t drive, you are supposed to. I thought you knew that.
Sister: I know that dummy – I mean the baby sister part. I am fifty years old.
Me: I don’t care how old you are, you will always be the baby. It’s not like she thought you were a toddler.
Sister: Just don’t start thinking you can boss me. You’re not the boss of me.
Me: Lord, ain’t that the truth. If I could make you do anything, you would be having a few of these tests right along with me.
Sister: Don’t lecture me either. I know my body and I know how to take care of it. I may not take good care of it but I know that too.
Me: I won’t lecture you. Harping on people never helps — especially rebellious people. You do take an aspirin every day, right?
Sister: Yes. Some days I take three or four — or five. Usually four. They’re just baby aspirins.
Me: Why do you take four baby aspirin?
Sister: Because sometimes one is not enough.
Me: But the doctor told you to take one a day — just to thin your blood, right?
Sister: Right! But when you cut yourself and the blood clots a soon as it comes to the surface – it’s too thick. Blood is supposed to drip, that’s just common sense. People should pay attention to that and know their body. I’m not going to pay a doctor $200 to tell me my blood is too thick.
Me: Why not just take one adult aspirin – the milligrams would be the same.
Sister: No, it would not be the same Miss Nursey-Nurse. Four baby aspirins equal 324 milligrams, one adult aspirin is 325.
Me: So you’re worried that you might overdose?
Sister: No. I just like the taste of the baby aspirin.
Me: You are one stubborn woman.
Sister: You know I will cut my nose off to spite my face, so will you.
Me: Speaking of noses, look at that lady across from you.
Sister: Oh my gosh! Did you see that dry flaky thing she just sent flying?
Me: Yeah! What was that?
Sister: It looked like a UFO.
Me: Shhh!
Sister: See what I mean, I bet that woman doesn’t know her own body. She’s probably here to have a dozen tests done when the problem is she’s just dehydrated. It’ll cost her $1500 to find out she needs to drink more water.
Me: So you’re diagnosing now? You don’t know her.
Sister: No, but I know boogers. You saw that rice cake she flung across the room! Boogers are wet, or they should be.
Me: It’s hard to argue with logic.

Merry Christmas World

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

In an earlier post, I mentioned making Christmas cards from older shots I had found in my digital library.

Well, here you go. I made this one for you.

I snapped this photo of the pond at dawn in February 2009 with a little Olympus pocket camera.
There was a power outage (due to the heavy ice) so we boiled coffee on the stove.
The air was still and thin, painted in pale shades of blue as far as the eye could see. The world lay silent, other than the cracking of limbs all around us.
It was absolutely enchanting.

Here’s wishing you all, each and everyone, a very Merry Christmas.

In honor of those suffering from and those caring for…

November is National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month & National Caregiver Month

BlueThey Always Come on Sunday is part of the ‘horror’ anthology Short Stories & Such. I think most people dealing with this disease would agree it is a real nightmare.

They Always Come on Sunday

There are seven days in a week, four weeks in a month and fifty two weeks in a year. Seven times fifty two equals three hundred sixty four. That doesn’t add up and there are five Mondays… and Tuesdays… and an extra Wednesday? I don’t understand –those are the most boring days available. Nonetheless I will scribble something; things have gotten so hectic I have taken to writing everything down.

I personally prefer Sundays. Fridays were never that exciting and Saturdays are just too busy. With the shopping and laundry and the endless play dates all I have to look forward to are Sundays. Some believe it is the last day of the week but according to my ledger it is the first. I suppose I have always looked forward to Sundays, especially Sunday dinner.

My grandmother was an excellent cook and she would rise early to prepare a lavish banquet fit for a wedding. As I recall it was after a delicious meal of chicken casserole, fresh cut green beans and scalloped potatoes that Edward Fry asked me to marry him. Edward’s father owned half of Cherokee county along with the mill and the lumberyard. Grandmother was thrilled by the proposal and credited her Italian Cream cake as the irresistible bait. My memory fails me as to why we argued later and she refused to give me the recipe. Whatever it was it didn’t hamper my love of Sundays.

Friends and family would always stop by after church or after fishing. People honor the Sabbath in different ways; I reckon one is as restful as the other. They knew me and I knew everyone in the community.  That is not the case now. People visit but it’s not the same.

Alone in the Wildreness

I hardly know these visitors. I have seen a few of them before but I haven’t a clue to what their names are and I am a bit suspicious of their intentions. They are just faces, acquaintances, people I presumably know though I do not recall precisely how we met.

A few of the faces gathering are not familiar at all. They smile and let on like they know me personally; like we’ve shared more than a cordial conversation or a hot cup of coffee. I find their behavior to be crass and much too assuming. They try too hard; with all of their grinning and nodding and batting their bloodshot eyes at me. It’s a ploy to seem sincere. They impose and pester me with niceties and the constant can I get you something as if this was the wake of a dead man and I was the widow.

Darrell (that’s what he calls himself) sits down beside me and pats me on the leg. When he’s not touching me he’s cooing and awing like I’m a goddamn baby. I try not to speak to him because it only encourages his vulgar behavior. He must be a hundred years old. The flesh beneath his eyes hangs in folds of blue and purple. One would think the puffiness would plump up those dark circles but it doesn’t.

I stare at his hand when he lets it rest on my thigh. It looks like a gardening fork draped with crepe paper and it’s cold. He makes me nervous. I move my leg away from him but he insists on petting me. He reaches toward my face, not in a hurried way which is good. I am faster than him and watch his eyes tear up when I land the second slap against his loose jaw. I say “You nasty son of a-” but before I can hit him again one of the faces catches my wrist and yells “Mother!” Darrell assures her it’s okay but the woman holding my hand argues and tells him “No, it is NOT okay.” I can tell she is upset as she firmly nestles my hands into my lap. I don’t know her very well but when I look into her eyes I feel it’s safe to trust her. Eyes are the mirror to the soul, I heard that somewhere once.

The sun is shining, casting a light midway across the quilted tulip bedspread. That is a sure indicator that it is past 10 AM. Usually when the rays peek over the headboard I am sitting upright with a cup of coffee half consumed and watching… what is the name of that morning show? Oh well, It doesn’t matter.

“Would you like your egg scrambled or poached?” he asks. I cannot see his face but I know the voice and my heart smiles.
“Scrambled please.” I purr, in my best seductive voice. I love Saturdays. Darrell lets me sleep in and serves me breakfast in bed. I know after the last bite of toast he will kiss the crumbs from my lips and we will make love. I unbutton my gown in anticipation.
“The kids will be coming for dinner.” he says, his voice coming closer. I sit up, smooth my hair and lick my lips. “Charlotte is home for Winter break, she will be coming too.”
“Who is Charlotte?”
“David’s daughter.” he replies. I cannot see his face yet but I sense the change in his tone, cracking slightly over the tinkling of cup against saucer.
“And who is David? Do I know him?”
“He’s your son Beth. Our son.” He says it softly and sets the tray across my lap. How is it he has aged so bitterly?
“We have a son named David?… David? Oh yes I remember sweet little Davy. He made me a jewelry box last Christmas… a cigar box covered in dry pasta and painted gold. What did I do with that box? Davy is my baby.”
“He is not a baby anymore Beth.”
“I know that silly!” I tell him as I pick at the ugly lumps of yellow lying before me. “Liz, Liz is the baby now.” Liz, the woman with the eyes I can trust.
“Eat up. Liz and Ron are bringing your favorite dessert and you know you can’t have sweets on an empty stomach.”
“Liz is my daughter; she makes the best Italian Cream cake.” I’m not sure why I said that but it makes him happy.
“Yes sweetie, yes, yes, yes.” He pecks out kisses on my forehead like a starving rooster; he hoovers over the bed smiling. Amidst the rays of sunshine, he looks like an angel, a weary angel. His once beautiful face lined with worry and too many sleepless nights.
“They always come on Sunday.” More words from my mouth, their origin a mystery.
“Yes, yes they do.”

Some days the birds are the only things I understand. The context of their chirps doesn’t change much. Words, warping and twisting themselves into a rope, strangle me. English is a foreign language, a dialect that seems barely recognizable, one I must strain at to recall. Each sentence is a puzzle and I search to find the words that fit… their place, their meaning. Signs and gestures, imported expressions and faces that that fade with the sun – I suppose they are more amicable than the demons at sundown.

Lonley

I know that one day I will awake and find me gone, forever lost in that void of timeless confusion surrounded by strangers I once loved. Each day is like the next, a never-ending procession of things I cannot explain in a world I do not understand. With one transitory exception, they always come on Sunday.

 

This Day In History

This may be why I can’t get anything done.

I was doing a little research and got sidetracked. It happens.
According to HistoryOrb on October 29, 1988 China announced a herbal male contraceptive. Ironically (is that irony?) I was urr-umm [Kids cover your ears] – conceiving.
Apparently the papaya seeds were not a big hit.
So now, it is one of those mornings where research turns into reflection.

Although we have three other children, this is the baby, the caboose, the one made on this day in history and I can’t help but ponder.

Where did the years go… James A. Hill
Why won’t he let me rock him to sleep any more… James Polaris shot4

or comb his hair… Baby boy blushes so easilyor at least find him a wife so he doesn’t have to live alone…