There will be no red markers or downward adjustments to your GPA I promise. There will be no raising of hands and no roll call, you shall remain carefree and nameless. This quiz is just for fun.
Of course if you score well feel free to brag 🙂
Here are ten questions from the first book in the series Between the Rage and Grace.
Clickers ready? Go!
I’ve been perusing various blogs and looking at some pretty awesome takes on the weekly photo challenge titled Movement all the while fighting my sick sense of humor to catch someone on the toilet and post that movement. I know, ewwww. Relax, my decent side won out [thank goodness] and I chose a photo of my son tossing skeet.
Two Fisted Skeet Toss
It has been brought to my attention that I did say I would offer a consolation prize for those not winning the giveaway of Behind the Rage in trade paperback by running a free kindle promo of said title. I realize [now] that the giveaway was over in May and I have had more than a month to list the free kindle version. I won’t insult you by saying I thought I did or with excuses of how busy I’ve been or that I’ve had a debilitating sinus infection although I do have a doctor’s excuse and receipts for Kleenex to prove it. I won’t bore you with my short term memory problems or the possible onset of dementia…
I’ll just say Oops, my bad, I’m sorry and I’m gonna do it right now. It should be showing up on Amazon as $0.00 starting Tuesday July 10th – Saturday July 14th. If not then just go ahead and shoot me with your nerf gun.
And seriously I want to say, Thank you all for your support and patience.
Just for fun I thought I’d share a few scenes that didn’t make the final draft(s).
“ER — this is Clara.” The anxious nurse spoke into the phone. After listening attentively to the switchboard operator, she giggled and replied, “Send him on back.”
“What have we got?” Maggie asked, without looking up from the tangled mess of yarn meant to be a sweater.
“Um… a sixty two year old male who says he took two Viagra five hours ago and he can’t… uh… he can’t get it down.”
“Well what goes up must come down.” Maggie pretended not to notice Clara’s stammering or the red glow lighting her face. She shoved the knitting materials back into the bag and added, “That is the law of physics Clara Bell.”
“Have you ever seen priapism before? How will we treat it?”
“Prepare the sheaths! Limber thy hips!” The older nurse announced, jumping to her feet with a fist in the air. “And let the games begin!”
**Editor yells “CUT!”**
“Mary Magdalene-” he whispered, “are you menstruating?” She didn’t answer. Slowly he eased the blanket from her motionless body, hesitated briefly and returned the cover. She could see him floating toward the door.
“Wait!” she urged.
Without turning the priest murmured, “I can not. Your condition will make me unclean. I’m sorry.”
Frustrated that the opportunity for revenge was passing, that she would not get the item she needed to bind the perverted priest, she hissed, “Then squawk like a chicken.”
Bwaahk, bwak, bwak. The cleric pressed his hands to his mouth but was unable to silence the involuntary sounds.
**Snip snip snip and the sound of paper hitting the floor**
“Oh, come on Maggie. Why do you have Mr. ‘Mean-ass I can’t stand nobody not even my hateful stinking self’ on my schedule?” Clara asked with an exaggerated frown.
“Because you’re low man on the totem pole.” Linda interjected, “I would go but you know I’m too fat to run from the mad dachshunds.”
“Right! And why do we even have to deal with those two dogs?”
“Want me to tell you how to handle them?” Linda asked.
“Yes, please.” Clara replied.
“Okay. Here’s what you do. Are you listening?” Clara nodded and moved closer. When Linda was certain her coworker was waiting with bated breath she continued, “Approach them slowly, and speak gently so they don’t feel threatened.”
“Okay.”
“It’s easier to contend with one of them at a time – I suggest you work with the slower one first.” Clara nodded again. “Sit down and offer them a treat, a dog biscuit dipped in peanut butter would be nice – keeps their little mouth busy and dogs like peanut butter.”
“Uh huh. I can do that.”
“As soon as one of them, remember the slow one first, as soon as he gets within easy reach grab him firmly by the neck.”
“Why?”
“Don’t interrupt; this is the most important part.”
“Sorry. Go ahead.”
“As I was saying, grab him by the neck firmly. When you’ve got a sure hold on him squeeze with both hands as hard as you can.” Clara’s eyes widened and Linda watched as her jaw dropped exposing an open mouth. She wanted to draw out the details but it was getting harder to keep a straight face. “As soon as you see his eyes bulge, squeeze harder – give it all you’ve got. Do this until his tongue hangs out and his little body goes limp. When he’s not breathing you’ll be half way done with your dog problem. ”
**“CUT – CUT- CUT!!!”**
But editor what if PETA rushes in and throws Linda to the floor and she yells “Can’t you see I’m pregnant.”
**No! I said cut dammit!”**
Where to buy the books
Between the Rage & Grace, Behind the Rage & Unjustified Favor are combined in The Rage TrilogyUpdate; When the fourth book (Cloud Wrangler) was imagined in 2017 we couldn’t call the set a “trilogy” anymore so, the Clan Destiny series was born.
.
This has got to be this worst photograph I have ever taken (at least sober anyway) yet when I saw it Fleeting Moment is exactly what I conjured. I was attempting to snap a shot of a pair of hawks that hang out at the edge of the woods. I hurried and spun the camera and well… you get the picture. I looked through fifty other photos in trying to prepare this post and kept coming back to this cull. I think it is because it says more to me than any crystal clear image could. I titled it Time.
Time
My creation was a happenstance epiphany of sorts.It occurred while making dinner just this night…
Summer Salads
Sorry, I ate the fried potatoes before I could snap the picture. All of this creating made me hungry.
So four pictures would be worth how much?
Answer: four dozen eggs or forty eight matchsticks depending on what time of day it was. You can tell I majored in mathematical quantum physics, can’t you.
What is the point [and click] of this post? To tell you I found the battery charger to my little pocket sized camera and prove a point share what I learned.
I love the lil pocket camera but… `nuff said 🙂
Ancient Egyptians reportedly considered the pomegranate as a symbol of prosperity. I haven’t researched the information yet to know if one must eat the fruit, own the tree or simply hold one in their possession to be prosperous. Surely worship of the seedy little crop is not required…. if so I shall have to remain not so prosperous. On the other hand I would consume as many as need be. Honestly, I don’t have much faith in pomegranates other than their health benefits.
I do however have some faith in publicity which is the sole purpose of this post, to make readers aware of the current promotions.
Perpetual Spring, a short little twisted story is free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th.
Interior Verse Plus Pose Prose and Poems, a diverse collection of “wicked poetry” is also free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th 2012.
The Goodreads giveaway of Between the Rage and Grace has started and will end July 15th 2012. The promotion is open to multiple countries.
P.S. I’m sorry for the late notification on the Kindle freebies that started Friday. I was out of town and quiet bummed by the passing of a dear family member. I’ll try to improve on the publicity aspect and keep a pomegranate on hand. Maybe we’ll all prosper 🙂
The Wild Pomegranate photo by Janna Hill
She was… A giant spirit dwelling in a sassy petite frame and I once dreamed of being short like her.
She was… My first cab ride downtown because [though she was courageous] she never conquered her fear of driving.
She was… An angel who treated my first hangover like a bona fide sickness with tender mercy.
She was… The first to plant the seed in a young girl’s mind that one day she could be a writer and thirty five years later said “I told you so.”
She was… In my heart, a friend… a sister… a confidant and a mother
She was… My Aunt Gloria
~~~And today my heart breaks for a spirit that will be so thoroughly missed~~~
Photo by SKG ~ The Last Trip to the Lake
Happy Birthday and R.I.P Gloria Ann – June 13, 1943 – June 13, 2012
Thanks to Mary Ann @ http://mypenandme.wordpress.com for listing me as one of her recommended blogs and sharing The Sunshine Award. Check her out.
The Sunshine Award
My answers to the questions are as follows:
Favorite color: The rainbow
Favorite animal: The humanoid
Favorite number: 5
Favorite non-alcoholic drink(s): Coffee, Iced tea, Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Coke
Facebook or Twitter: Both
My greatest passion: Reaching abandoned goals
Favorite day of the week: Tuesday
Favorite flower: Gardenia
*The Sunshine Award guidelines are:
1. Link the award to the person who gave it to you.
2. Answer the questions that come with it.
3. Pass it along to other bloggers and let them know they have received it.
Krrrisshh–x–rrassshhhhhhh- Oops I’ve got a bad signal. I’ll have to write back later.
The Real Janna Hill in 