Just FYI I’ve been a little more adventurous lately. I don’t know why – do I need a reason?
Okay we’ll call it a mid-life crisis. But if it is mid-life that means I will live to be well over one hundred years old. Oh lord, I’m not sure that is a good thing.
Hey, speaking of good things, you know what’s NOT?!
It’s a string (hence being called a thong) with a triangular bit of material cut in such a way to cover the symphysis pubis. You know – the lower lady parts… the mound (where nowadays the lawn is scalped)… the rug (where if there is any carpet it more than likely does not match the drapes)… the… well You know!
Lord I’m having a hot flash or a blushing fit; I don’t know why I am trying to explain something everyone over five years old already understands.
Maggie and Linda wouldn’t blush. Heck, their mothers wouldn’t blush — they would all wear thongs. They would all do things too — terrible things I
might have done wouldn’t do but they would probably be ashamed of me airing my dirty laundry so to speak. But hey, I’m among friends, right? I’m just living out loud and flinging cake against the wall. 😉
Anyway, back to my story with a slight digression.
I tried to wear one of the darn crack-crawling, butt-scratching, awkward little invaders years ago because they were supposed to be sexy. Yeah. Well. Digression complete.
As I mentioned earlier I’ve been feeling adventurous. Did you notice the polka dot explosion of color going on with my fingernails? And that even holding the thong is somewhat awkward.
I do have to admit the scrap of material is more comfortable than it was two decades ago. As a matter of fact it’s so comfortable one might forget to pull it down when they go to use the restroom and then have to peel the damn soggy thing off and you’ve got pee on your hands and — I mean, I’ve heard that could happen.
Okay the useless thing is more comfortable but I still don’t get it – it serves no real purpose. If all you’re worried about is panty lines you might as well go commando, am I right?
Well ladies [& gents] if you like your thongs, keep your thongs and wear that hanky thread proudly but as for me…
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!