I Object!

I Object!!

Objection overruled. get attched

Now grab a paperclip and get attached. 😉

You are hereby lawfully subjected to more photos of Mia the Pocket Puppy, aka my current obsession object of affection. The versatile pocket puppy (suitable for all ages) can also be used as a sock puppy. Unlike a sock puppet Mia can speak for herself.  AND [this is the fun part] she eats, cries, bites, pees, poops and barks just like a real puppy.

Prompted by the weekly photo challenge: Object

“Just Pose”

“The photo challenge this week is juxtaposition. To juxtapose… as in placing two or more things side by side but for creative reasons let’s really look for contrast.” That’s all I said…

See what happens when you ask for input in my house? You get puppies nestled in pockets, a monkey riding a bobcat and me hiding behind a bunch of balloons. Oh, I tossed in the photo of the bee but it’s an old shot. We’ll consider that juxtaposed to the new.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Juxtaposition

My Genetic Beginning

Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them.

Photographs of family and friends are scattered throughout this blog so instead of taking a new photograph for this challenge I thought it would be fun to share a few old ones.

Windows & Portals to the World’s Stories

Regarding this week’s photo challenge Cheri’ said, “They are portals into the world’s stories.” I thought how true and instantly recalled a reader’s question about writing scary characters. “Do they scare you when you’re writing them?” she asked. To that I replied, “Yes, sometimes they do.” So what does that have to do with windows and stories?

Well throughout writing one particular story I studied the views from both sides of the window near my desk. I would imagine the male protagonist lurking outside as I typed into the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes I would creep across the lawn and peer in, imagining how he (Max) saw things – where he might hide outside that window as he studied Abigail. I have to admit it felt pretty creepy. Max wasn’t really a bad guy (okay maybe that is debatable) but there were times I had to turn on the security lights, make sure the windows were locked and the Glock was loaded.

I’m not just kidding.

The relationship between me and that window will never be the same but there will be other windows. As a matter of fact here are a few recent views that might inspire a [not so creepy] story.

The Start of Something Wonderful

A wintry daybreak, a delightful fruitcake and a fire I made for myself…

I know starting a fire [intentionally] is not really a big deal unless you’re me and not everyone loves fruitcakes unless they’re family. By the way why are we expected to love the crazies we just so happen to be related to? I don’t know but I honestly do adore a real fruitcake. Fruitcakes need love too.

I have never pawned a loved one off, hid them out of sight or used them for a doorstop like some individuals will ashamedly do. You know I’m still talking about the cake right? As far as kinfolks…

I left a cousin in front of a Las Vegas liquor store in 1988. He worked there as a doorstop until he got too old to squat now he works part time at the newsstand as a paperweight. No, really! It’s a wonderful job – it just doesn’t pay anything. I think he is beginning to realize that. At least he can start a fire.

It seems even the dumbest sexiest men are mini MacGyver’s.  My husband (who is smart and handsome) can ignite a blaze using only his thumbnail and a gnawed wet toothpick.  I on the other hand need sixty-eight ounces of starter fluid, the Sunday paper, two wax logs and a large box of kitchen matches. Accidents and burning bridges does not count. Well that’s how it use to be. As you can see I’m better now. “Necessity is the mother of invention.”

I didn’t coin that phrase, heck I didn’t even invent fire but upon seeing the beautiful purple sky I knew a change in weather was occurring. A cold front that could challenge my lady MacGyver skills and I am happy to tell you I fared well under such pressure.  With a bundle of twigs and a mere twitch of the nose the fireplace was aglow. Okay, the bic and gasoline might have spurred the small conflagration but still it was the start of something wonderful.

Prompted by a cake sent from India (thank you Joseph), a cold front and this weeks photo challenge: Beginning

A Few of My Favorite Things

Weekly Photo Challenge: Joy

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.

I am the smile behind the lens 🙂

Crazy Conversations (Christmas & Kitty)

Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them. Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one. This is a work of ‘true fiction’ inspired by family. The names have been changed to protect the guilty

(Ring, ring)

Me: Hello.

Bea: Did you get anything nice for Christmas?

Me: I’m fine thank you. How are you?

Bea: I didn’t ask how you were doing. Did you have a good Christmas?

Me: Yes I did. Did you?

Bea: I got the same old junk I get every year. Why do people ask you what you want if they are not going to give it to you?

Me: Did everyone make it home this year?

Bea: I have house shoes stacked waist high in my closet and enough gels and lotions to open my own Bath & Body Works.

Me: Hey that’s an idea. Maybe you could open a little shop and call it Foot & Body or Bea’s Bath & Slippers.

Bea: Don’t be absurd!

Me: It was just a thought.

Bea: Well it was a tacky little thought and besides they make perfectly good gifts for friends and in-laws.

Me: By the way thank you for the foaming cranberry soap. I love the smell and-

Bea: How is your dog? Did you get the dog anything for Christmas?

Me: Which dog? I have three.

Bea: The Chihuahua! I am not concerned about the ones that live outside.

Me: The dogs are all fine and they each got a bone for Christmas. The kids are fine too.

poor dingo dog (1024x845)

Merry Christmas you poor dumb dingo.

Bea: A bone?! That’s not a decent gift.

Me: They were happy with it.

Bea: Who – the children or the dogs?

Me: Both.

Bea: Well the dogs don’t know any better. You should get a cat. My Kitty would never settle for a lousy bone. Isn’t that right Kitty Kitty? Yes it is. You’re mommy’s wittle princess; her itty-bitty baby. Mommy wuvs her sweet Kitty Kitty yes she does.

Me: Did you ever consider naming her something other than Kitty Kitty?

Bea: That would be ridiculous. Her name has been Kitty Kitty for six years. Her won’t answer to anything else will you baby? No her won’t. She wuvs her name and she wuvs her mommy. She’s not like mommy’s other babies – no she’s not. She’s a good girl. Aren’t you a good girl?

Me: Should I let you go so you can talk to the cat?

Bea: Why don’t you get a cat? They are a lot smarter than dogs and they don’t stink.

Me: You know I am allergic to ninety percent of the domestic feline population.

Bea: Well you need a cat. Real writers have cats. Surely you could find one in the ten percent of the populace you are not allergic to. Have you ever tried?

Me: The other ten percent smell worse than dogs.

Bea: Malarkey! Cats do not stink.

Me: Dead cats do.

Bea: That was a cruel thing to say. She was just being facetious Kitty Kitty. She’s jealous, that what she is. Dog people are mean aren’t they? Yes they are. They are meannie weenies but mommy will protect her pretty Kitty oh yes she will. Do you want mommy to make her apologize? You do? Okay I’ll tell her –

Me: Put the cat on the phone.

Bea: Here she is.

Me: Kitty Kitty are you there?

Bea: She can hear you, go ahead.

Me: Did you ever watch a sitcom called Friends?

Bea: She has watched every single rerun at least once.

Me: Kitty Kitty do you know the song Phoebe sang?

Bea: ‘Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat what are they feeding you?’ We laugh at that every time we hear it.

Me: Well Kitty that song was written about your mother.

Bea: Don’t tell her that! Now you really need to apologize.

Me: Forgive me Smelly Jr. – I mean Kitty Kitty. I’m sorry you’re a cat – it’s not your fault.

Bea: Ignore her baby; she’s just a nasty ole dog hugger. So did you get a lot for Christmas?

Me: Are you talking to me?

Bea: Of course I am talking to you! Who else would I be talking to?

Me: I got everything I wanted.

Bea: That’s good. Listen dear, I’m already working on next year’s list and I have you down as a size 8/9 in house slippers. Do you have a color preference? I’m thinking red, blue or leopard print.

Me: The red or blue either one would be nice.

Bea: Hmm. I thought you would prefer the leopard print?

Me: I would but isn’t that what I gave you last Christmas?

Bea: Hello? Hello? The reception here is terrible. I haven’t heard a word you’ve said since your apology to Kitty. I’m sorry sweetie I’m going to hang up now – call me back in a day or two. Oh and Merry Christmas.

Me: Merry Christmas Bea.

(Click)

Have a HaPpY One

Red Gold & Green My digital card

The shot I used for our Christmas card happens to fit nicely with this weeks photo challenge. It’s also an excellent chance to wish all of you at WordPress a Merry Christmas. If you can’t be merry at least have a happy one. 😉