Sometimes Truth Is Stranger than Fiction

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago I worked as a nurse. Nurses Janna & Jess.jpg

My daughter (on the left) is a nurse and many of my friends and family are still working in the field of nursing.

I could write forever about the combined experiences of a nursing career. As a matter of fact a few of those experiences fueled scenes in the fictional Clan Destiny series where the main characters (Clara, Linda and Maggie) are nurses. Mary Latrull (another fictional character) likes to pretend she is a nurse and would probably be a good one except –

Oops. I veered off track.

I mention the series now because this is National Nurses Week.

Happy Nurses week comrades, family and friends!

Oh poo, let me ramble off road for a minute and we’ll make this one of Tuesday’s Tell All.

Thinking on the series: when the books stood alone, before they were renamed the Clan Destiny series and before the reviews disappeared from Amazon I had a few comments that the stories were too “far-fetched” and unbelievable.  Yeah, nurses with paranormal abilities. Ha! I’m not sorry, that is why I called it fic-shun.

A handful of people (mostly “nurses”) suggested the medical terminology and/or procedures were incorrect. I know it was wrong but I had to call those to attention. Why? Because I kept “procedural” scenes to a minimum for lay reasons and if practice or terminology has changed that much in the last few years I honestly wanted to know. But nope…

The real thing ‘said nurses’ took issue with was the (occasional) disrespect and unprofessional behavior that I portrayed.  The strange thing is those scenes were all too real. Allow me to share.

Examples:

In book one Maggie curses a bit, insults a doctor and she and Clara have a confrontation, nearly coming to blows while on duty. One ‘said nurse’ says, “#1 no nurse would talk to a doctor like that and #2 Cursing and fighting on duty like hoodlums would never happen.” Truth? It happens. Been there, done that. Nursing is a stressful profession and nurses are human, sometimes we act stupid.

In book two Mary (as a patient) leaves the hospital against medical advice without signing the proper forms.  Another ‘said nurse’ says, “A patient would not be allowed to leave without signing the necessary documents.” I laughed myself silly. Truth? I have chased more than my share of irate, deranged and determined absconders while pleading with them “just sign this and you can go.” Hospitals, clinics and care centers are not prisons; you cannot hold someone against their will and you cannot make them sign a form to c.y.[own]a. (cover your [own] a**)

In book three Maggie, Linda and Clara laugh (in private) and refer to a patient, Mr. Stenchman, as Mean-as Stinky man or Mean-ass Stinky pants. An offended ‘said nurse’ says, “You should not depict nurses in such an unprofessional and unflattering way.” Truth? Sometimes we are unprofessional and ugly and sometimes the patient is a mean-ass stinky man.

I could rattle on about sordid affairs, fist fights, missing bodies/body parts, resurrections, insurance/benefit/patient abuse, medicare fraud and more but I won’t. Not today.

Yes, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

I may write a true tell-all one day but until then I’ll keep changing the names to protect the guilty, add a little ‘what if’  and focus on the fictitious person – not the true profession.

For all of you nurses [with or without imperfections] keep being the best that you can be. Thanks for shoving your own sh*t aside for 8 to 16 hours a day and caring even when it seems like you don’t.

 Happy Nurses Week!

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Life on the Farm (With Boudro the Fearless Boar)

While I was away, the husband renamed our dog. Buddy now wags his tail to Boudro.

The truth is, Buddy, ummm — I mean Boudro wags his tail to nearly everything. He is such a social creature. Life on the Farm (9) (1280x1085)

This morning I introduced him to my new pets.

Shhh, I know they may grow up to be BLT’s but let me have my moment, okay? Thank you.

Life on the Farm (5) (1280x931)

As I was saying, I introduced Boudro to Charlotte, Wilbur, Charles and Wilbur II. Now this crazy Chihuahua (who originally told me his name was Patrick) insists on being addressed as Boudro the Fearless BoarLife on the Farm (11) (1280x849)

Really?

Well… in this day and age, why not?!

The People of Puerto Vallarta

A couple of weeks ago (see Crazy Conversations) I mentioned going to Mexico with my daughter. I failed to mention my daughter’s friend was accompanying us, but I am so glad she did. She is a cute little thing and full of surprises. You should have seen the baggage handler’s face when she jumped out of the suitcase.

Priceless!
Sadly, she had to pay for the return flight.

Unrestricted buffet, endless alcoholic beverages and cup after cup [after cup] of elot’e made it impossible for her to fit back into the luggage. I am not even going to mention the ice-cream! I suppose all of those extra pounds calories put her over the edge.

That’s the only rationale I have to explain her picking a fight with a mild-mannered radio host at KISS FM, Big Al. It was a terrible sight! Her screaming and punching and cursing at him– she called him everything but Al!

All of that drama just because he sat down beside her. Brooke (800x552)

She is usually so sweet and passive.

As I said, she is full of surprises.
I could only watch in shock.

Thank goodness, the airline had not seated us together.

I glanced across the aisle at my daughter with one of those inquisitive mother looks. You mom’s know what I mean.

She responded by denying that she knew the poor girl and told the stranger sitting beside her, “she should be locked away.” When the polite stranger agreed, she went on to say,

“I had to have my mother put away.”

Of course, that piqued the stranger’s curiosity and she went on to ask why.

“She just lost her mind. Waking up at all hours of the night, clinking cups and banging doors, talking to herself… making up stories and laughing for no apparent reason… I couldn’t get a moments rest.”Jessica (800x532)

Hmm. See why I love this kid?!

Almost as much as I love the people of Puerto Vallarta.

Crazy Conversations (Genres)

Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them. Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one. This is a work of ‘true fiction’ inspired by family. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. CAUTION: They cuss.

I have had genre issues concerning one title in particular so a couple of weeks ago I (finally) asked my eldest sister for an opinion. Be careful what you ask for. And the category Is…

Sister: Hey, I just called to thank you for the book.

Me: Oh you’re quite welcome. So do you have an opinion on the genre?

Sister: Well I have to tell you it started off a little staggery. You know what I mean?

Me: As in slow and unsteady, I agree.  So what genre did you decide?

Sister: Clara seemed sort of dull at the beginning. I wasn’t sure what to make of her, you know?  She’s rather meek and reserved.

Me: True. But what category-

Sister: Thank goodness she shines further into the story. You need to show that in the first few pages. You might omit chapter one all together or incorporate one and two. I see what you were doing there and I’m all about character development but step it up a little.

Me: The book is already out. My current problem is the specific genre. What do you-

Sister: Well no need crying over spilled milk, right? Maggie is likable. I like Maggie, she’s spunky. No wonder Linda has issues. With a name like Mucalinda and a mother who runs a voodoo shop in New Orleans. Geez!

Me: Thanks. Other than fiction would you consider it –

Sister: I hated that Lafont character! Hate is a strong word I know but I absolutely hate him. He didn’t suffer near enough in my opinion but Levi isn’t the type to torture people. He just done what needed to be done. Taking care of business, I loved that about him. So is he really a-

Me: Speaking of business I need your opinion on the genre. Remember I asked for-

Sister: Oh it’s definitely romance. It almost verges on soft porn at times if you ask me. Your brother in law couldn’t believe you wrote that. He had a time with it. Were your ears burning?

Me: You let him read it?!The Rage Trilogy Cover for B&N

Sister: Sure. He agrees with me – it’s romance.

Me: No, I don’t think so.

Sister: Yes it is! I am a seasoned noveller, you asked for my opinion now don’t argue. With the relationships and intimacy throughout you have to know it’s a romance.

Me: I really didn’t think it was. I categorized it under paranormal fiction.

Sister: Maybe as a subcategory.  Now back to Levi, is he or is he not a-

Me: I’m not sure I should classify it as romance. One reader said-

Sister: I don’t give a damn what one reader said or one hundred for that matter. Do you know how many books I read a week? Sure you do that’s why you asked for my opinion. It’s a freaking romance.

Me: Okay. Don’t get your panties in a wad. So you want to know more about Levi but what about Vivian?

Sister: Vivian Cature? That wench has no redeeming qualities. I despise her.

Me: But she came from a troubled background. Aren’t you the least bit empathetic?

Sister: So what. That is an excuse! Everyone has junk in their past. No, she was looking out for number one and the way she treated her own daughter- not just the way she treated her friend but her own daughter! I don’t forgive her and I have no sympathy for her. Nope, I cannot abide such. She is a sociopath. She and that worthless man-whore deserved one another.

Me: You know they aren’t real people, right?

Sister: Well of course I know that but girl I cried twice. Oh, when Mr. O’Bromley was in the emergency room I had to get a tissue and blow my nose that just tore me up. — What are you laughing about?

Me: Nothing.

Sister: You wanted my opinion. You should be flattered that I liked it.

Me: I am. I totally am. But I really just needed help with the genre thing.

Sister: It is a blasted romance. Let’s not go over that again. Now tell me will Levi be showing up in the next book?

Me: I don’t think so.

Sister: He could. There is ample leeway for another story, maybe bring him in to the lead, I would like to see that and why on earth did you kill off-

Me: You’re positive on the genre?

Sister: Damn it girl do I have to spell it for you? Would you rather ask mother?

Me: No! Romance it is. Thank you.

Sister: Anytime. Can you at least try to expound on the Duffy character.  What exactly is he? And I don’t see why you couldn’t do more with Levi.

Me: I’ll work on it.

Sister: Do that and by the way you’re not getting the book back,

Me: That’s fine, consider it a gift.

Sister:  I did.

Book Quiz: Between the Rage and Grace

There will be no red markers or downward adjustments to your GPA I promise. There will be no raising of hands and no roll call, you shall remain carefree and nameless. This quiz is just for fun.

Of course if you score well feel free to brag 🙂

Here are ten questions from the first book in the series Between the Rage and Grace.

Clickers ready? Go!