The thought of losing a child cripples me [emotionally]. Although I have thankfully not lost a child to war my mama heart hurts so deeply for those who have that is how this poem was born so many years ago.
That is why I share it here today.
But let me not forget – let none of us forget.
Memorial Day is more than a long weekend, a parade, or a flag waving in the warm breeze. For many families, it is a chair left empty. A voice that no longer answers. A folded flag resting where a son, daughter, husband, wife, father, or mother once stood.
Today, we remember those who took an oath beneath a flag of pride and came home draped beneath it.
This poem was written years ago, but like grief itself, its meaning never ages. It is for the mothers who still whisper lullabies into silence, for the families who carry pride and heartbreak in the same breath — the same trembling hands. And for every fallen service member who gave all they had —whose absence still echoes through the lives they left behind.
Little Man By Janna Hill
IT’S TIME TO GO TO bed little man Cover up your head little man I’ll see you when the sun breaks in the morn Say your prayers and close your eyes I’ve locked the monsters all outside She’d sang those words to him since he was born
He grew to be a brave young lad And followed after his ole dad Beneath a flag of pride his oath was sworn They brought him home in silk lined wood And all around him soldiers stood While Butterfield’s Lullaby played upon the horn
It’s time to go ahead little man I know that you weren’t scared little man My heart breaks I can’t see you and I mourn I’ve said my prayers for your closed eyes I’ve tucked my feelings deep inside She sang into a folded flag of thorns.
I’m not sure who I’m speaking to in the audience; whether they are a curious reader or an independent author, I will try to address the topic in a way that all can understand.
In the first portion of my annual Indie report I shared a few things I have learned regarding support, reviews and social media.
The burning question I have been asked most is, how much money do independent authors make per month?
When the question is asked, they are looking at independent authors as a whole. A problem arises there because independent authors are not a whole, they are… Independent.
I would not venture to offer an “average”, but I’m sure that you can find that information somewhere else.
How much money an independent author makes is going to depend on how many books they sell. The same is true of traditional publishing.
It also depends on the list price of the book(s) and the royalty percentage.  That can vary significantly.
How many books they sell may also depend on how many books they have published.
Even best sellers get forgotten. Just like in traditional publishing.
You need to have something to follow up with or — be a one-hit wonder.
Unless you have the next To Kill a Mockingbird…
I suppose it’s about time for the next Harper Lee.
Unless you are someone like Harper Lee, it’s advisable you have three stories ready to hit the market and working on the next one at the same time.
A potential buyer that goes to your sellers page is going to look at how many books the author has, and how well they’re doing. They’re also going to look at reviews.
If there is only one book or if there are no reviews, they may not be willing to take a chance on you/that author.
Sorry, but that’s the truth. If you’re a writer chances, are you are a reader also. Put yourself in the readers place. Ask yourself, “would I, as a reader, take a chance on me?”
It’s okay if you talk to yourself— I do it all the time. 
Use beta readers and a support system, etc. to generate some reviews on your releases.
Not fake reviews.
Not paid reviews. Please.
How many books you sell will depend on how good your book is and how much you promote it.
How will people know about this book?
Are you willing to spend money to make money? If so, how much?
But we will save that topic for another time. For now, let’s get back to the question of hand.
Regarding how much money do you/an independent author make.
I have to giggle at this point and imagine a Scrooge-like character. I can see him/her with a wicked grin, anxiously rubbing their hands over a pile of shiny coins. And, of course they are counting dollar signs instead of sheep as they drift off to sleep.
Anywho. I digress.
What a person makes as an independent author can range from $0 a month to $4000 a month— or more.
Now $4000 a month is not the norm; it is rare and what I consider success.
4K sounds like a big deal — and it is.
$48,000 a year is a nice income and many people are able to live comfortably on that.
But most independent authors will not see that sort of success. So let that sink again.
There are many other fields that you could go in to if you’re only interested in making money.
And that’s completely understandable because living in our society requires that you have money.
Most independent authors have a full-time job, or at least a part-time job.
Were they already have the monetary means to write full-time.
So there’s that in a nutshell.
If you plan to write, then write because you love it— because you are driven to.
Try writing essays, short stories, small pieces to submit to magazines… anything to build your résumé. 
Right on? Write on!
Now go have a wonderful day.
P. S. April is National Poetry Month and I do plan to post some personal poetry this year.
I am not taking suggestions or submissions like in years past.
Why?
Because I am hip-deep in my own re-writing, re-creating and re-editing.
With that said, let me add a word of caution. Be careful about who you trust.
I have been doing a lot of reflecting these past couple of weeks. Convalescents affords me that luxury; and let me tell you all of life feels like a luxury- a new lease on life.
If you follow me on TikTok you know I survived being electrocuted late last month. The after effects are a pain and still manifesting. Still, I am sooo grateful to be on the topside of the soil.
Anywho, I thought I would share some of my reflecting with this poem from Getting Me Back.
A little aside: My last visit to the old place was about twenty years ago. It was one of those random stops; my youngest son was in high school and we were on our way home from a dental appointment.
I said, “Hey you wanna see where I lived once as a child?”
Being the adventurous soul that he is he said, “sure!”
So, without further adieu, here you go.
For illustration to feed your imagination only XoXo
🖤~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🖤
Life behind the railroad tracks
We called home a wooden shack
Lulled to sleep by passing trains
A tattered roof deterred the rains
Chilling winds crept through the walls
Carrying echoes of coyote calls
Two to three in every bed
With coats and quilts to cover our heads
Winter’s cruelty calmed us none
We unfurled early to meet the sun
Neither ice nor snow could hold us back
In hopeless times we crossed that track
Coon hunts and rat kills, boy we had fun
Don’t think it strange, it’s just what we done
June bugs and fireflies, the games that they sparked
Another Thursday, another November and another Thanksgiving holiday in the USA. Which means the earth has not quite spun off her axis; some of her inhabitants may have but we are here today so let’s make the most of it.
I have shared the following bit of prose in one form or another for … I don’t know… decades maybe?
Occasionally I vary the wording but the sentiment is always the same, so without further ado, here we go…
A Pilgrim’s Prayer
Once upon a time – a long, long time ago (before Black Friday) Thanksgiving was a celebration of harvest and a time to give thanks. Hence the name thanksgiving.
I don’t think the early pilgrims had a Super Walmart, a Sears or a Best Buy. They had never heard of an indie distributor called Smashwords(yikes, imagine how scary that might have sounded)
I’m sure they didn’t have the www to answer all of you questions or a beastly giant named Amazon— yet somehow they managed.
Can you imagine having to grow your own food and prepare it without the help of of a search engine like google?
When did they have time? Where did they get their Stove Top stuffing and who canned the yams and plucked the turkeys? How did those crazy pilgrims do it?
I didn’t really know any of those pilgrims but I did see a John Wayne movie once. John knew a pilgrim when he saw one. He seemed to know a lot of pilgrims but that was a long time ago too.
I propose we are all pilgrims, each one of us on a journey of sorts. Our own personal pilgrimage…
Aren’t we are all looking for something? Be it a quest for self-confirmation, truth, a cure, enrichment, comfort, a friend, a lover, a job, a meal or a place to lay our weary head at the end of another day.
I believe life is a journey, or at least it should be. It would be terrible to think we were just flailing through this experience; killing time on this giant floating gumball while waiting for the next Black Friday specials.
I believe we all have one destination though we travel different roads and I trust that we have choices.
Hopefully we will choose well. On the occasion we do take a wrong turn [and we will from time to time] I pray we have enough sense and humility to stop and seek direction… to reassess our route and to be considerate in our voyage.
So here’s wishing all of you pilgrims a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving from the Hill house and may we all, whatever road we’re on, take time to look ahead, pause and bow our head in thanks.
My personal prayer:
I pray our good seeds of hope, humility, toil and courage produce abundantly; that love and kindness grow wild like the weeds of early spring – fruitful and undeterred. And may our harvest be rich with wisdom and discernment.
Thank you Father, The Creator of all things, for this day and all it holds. Thank you for the days past, and Father forgive me for my wrong turns. Thank you for the day to come and guide me to make better choices. Thank you for all the pilgrims in my life – for those who’ve gone ahead and the ones that come behind and for those who read this prayer. And Thank You Father for the beacon that lights my way.
I’m not actually mad at tools (and I’m not talking about arse holes) — I am annoyed at myself.
Me, the one who preaches to work smarter, not harder and to use the tools available and– guess what?
I completely forgot I had a tiny little story enrolled in KDP select at Amazon.
What’s the big deal? Well [as writers will know] part of the allure and benefit of KDP select is the benefit of promoting — it is a valuable tool.
So, Sam & Sally Scarecrow have sat on the digital shelf (for nearly a year) gathering dust because I forgot they were there and I failed to use my tools. What a waste!
The moral of this madness is, “use your tools but don’t be a tool.”
Oh, and Amazon patrons can get a free copy of Sam & Sally Scarecrow on Friday, every Friday in October.
Creation is mind boggling. Just when you think you have it all figured out you realize you don’t know jack-squat.
This fact just re-occurred to me.
I take pictures to clear my mind and maybe I was pouting a little because an author friend told me I missed a great opportunity to create a buzz with the books released this summer. Yeah. The 2017 Summer Release.
I was just being silly, the truth is I don’t drink much but maybe I should – I would be much more obnoxious outgoing.
Tick-tock, tick-tock… Tsk, tsk, tsk.
There I was, hanging my head, dragging my camera along like a blanket as I clomped outside and boom!
“My goodness, look at the Marigolds!”
I forgot about creating anything and became enchanted by the creation around me.
Just FYI: lying on the ground with a camera can be very relaxing and entertaining and educational and thought provoking… and itchy.
These photographs are just a few of the larger insects. I tell you it is like another world inside that flowerbed! I plan to go back out there and lay down again… as soon as these ant bites clear up.
I have watched literary markets as well as loved ones come and go.
I pretty much left the ‘pertinent’ social media scenes. Why? For a few reasons, just pick one or make one up – that’s always fun.
New authors have asked, “Did decreasing media presence hurt book sales?”
My answer: “Laws yes! But you know what? I still do not give a flying rat’s fanny.”
I am sorry if that’s not the ‘right’ answer but it is my answer… my truth. That is the beauty of being an independent author.
Another truth is I was in “an unhealthy state of dealing with stress” – that is a sophisticated way of saying I was “bat-shit crazy in the midst of a nervous breakdown.”
Social media [as well as life] was becoming a struggle to keep up with; it was also getting in the way of Getting Me Back.
Getting Me Back (The Voices Within) is scheduled to release March 31st, it is available for pre-order now. Go ahead and order it so you will have it in time for NPM (National Poetry Month)
If you have never had a nervous breakdown, I would not recommend embarking on that journey.
If you want a peek at what my journey was/is like, I’d recommend reading Getting Me Back.
If you are currently bat-shit crazy in the midst of a nervous breakdown definitely get some help and read Getting Me Back. Hey, we can journey together.
In the first portion of my annual Indie report I shared a few things I have learned regarding support, reviews and social media. I like the number five so if you’re interested I’ll share a couple more. I believe I left off at #3 in Lessons Learned. Since inquiring minds really want to know “how many books are you selling and how much money are you making?” We’ll start #4 with sales.
# 4 Sales: This is like comparing apples to oranges or beets to hamburgers. To simplify it allow me to use e- books and a twelve month period because a year ago I had maybe four titles available, all e-books exclusive to Amazon. Today I have about sixteen, most available wherever books are sold.
Don’t say wow yet. That number includes several books that were combined or joined and counted as a new title. I.e. The Rage Trilogy, The Perpetual Series and Interior Verse/ Pose Prose & Poems. Also Disturbed Affections was created for Barnes & Noble which combines The Perpetual Series and Dour Number Four. Price trials were done and settled between 99¢ and $2.99.
For apples to apples sake March 2012 Amazon e-book sales were roughly about $5.80 with paper books way outselling them. March 2013 sales were about 50x that with very few paper books being sold. That’s two hundred and ninety sneering tight-lipped little Washington’s! Greenbacks baby! You can say wow now but hold that victory dance — I need to tell you something.
Sales over those twelve months were like a bipolar Bohemian. They were all over the place, feast and famine, up and down. Whew! It made me dizzy, now I know that’s just how it goes.
Looking at statistics is supposed to help me understand Bohemians’ such patterns and utilize them for … I don’t know but the good news is I made a few dollars. Woo-hoo – go ahead, dance with me.
#5 Stats and Ranks: OMG poke me in the eye! My website stats? I sort of saw a pattern of increased visitors equaled increased sales but it could’ve been my mind playing tricks on me. Example October hits were good and November sales increased. Why, how, what or who made it happen? Was it a tweet, a post or a random recommendation? I suspect it was a combination of factors or a cousin. I have lots of cousins.
Visitors: My door is always open and people apparently come and go while I’m in the shower or taking a nap. I am supposed to focus on unique visits, unique sites and unique referrers. [sigh] Okay. Most visits occur around 3:00 PM CST. Top referrers are direct requests followed by Google, Bing, A porn site I know nothing about (I swear!) and some from WordPress — that is probably fellow bloggers. Thank you all very much. See how boring data is?
I prefer to look at search string results. Search strings are interesting because you can see what query people use to arrive at your site. My favorites are “who is Janna Hill, “who the hell is Janna Hill”, “is Janna Hill really Janna Hill”, “Janna Hill + Symphony Angel, “is Janna Hill married to Joe Hill?” and “big ugly feet”. Really?! Someone searched “big ugly feet” and arrived here. [scratches head] Okay. Moving on…
Ranking: I use Amazon’s author tools. Just login and click rank. I occasionally break above the 12,000 overall in e-books. I know that sounds pitiful but when you came from ranking 500,000 to 12,000 I call that progress. C’mon, let’s dance again.
I may never be in the top ten or even the top 100 but I’m singing the Jefferson theme song and movin’ on up. I don’t want a deluxe apartment in the sky but I will take a small piece of some humble pie with a cup of coffee please.
The data above was gathered from March 2012- March 2013 reports. Yes I know we just entered July — I would make a great government employee, huh?! It has been (and is) one hell of a ride and I am truly grateful.
This is me. Not me writing on behalf of someone else. Not me pretending to be someone else. Not me wishing I was someone else. This is just me in all my rags of glory.
Addendum: Though it’s too early for me to offer a report or an opinion I can tell you I am seeing sales now at Apple. Maybe someday I’ll do an update and compare them to oranges. Ahh, I crack me up.
My New Year’s resolution for the last 40 years has been NOT to make resolutions. What I was doing ten years prior to that I have no idea; I had to be in bed by 9 PM. I do however seem to recall a span of about three decades where my resolve was to be drunk at midnight and to kiss every good-looking male within lips reach. Now THAT was a resolution I could keep! It’s also probably the reason for my chronic mononucleosis.
I was looking back through some old photographs and you know what? Not all of the men were that good-looking. Those were probably the safe ones. It is a scientifically proven fact that handsome men carry diseases and ugly men make good husbands. Okay maybe it’s not scientifically proven but don’t burst my bubble. To have caught mono from an ugly dude might be more than my fragile psyche can stand.
On a more serious note I suppose I did make a resolution in 2012 when I decided to become an independent author. I just didn’t think of it in terms as a ‘resolution’ at the time. I opened an official website, started blogging, face booking and tweeting. Not really into the tweeting but by golly I have a twitter account.
I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to make a 2013 resolution in regards to photography. I would like to become more adept at taking decent great pictures but I’m not sure how it is going to work out. Would you believe this morning I caught my Nikon snapping at the keyboard and strangling the mouse? Yeah, that that sounds crazy but it really happened! I think my resolution will be to make them best friends.
Things fight when you’re not looking. I resolve to make them allies.
The Real Janna Hill in 