Tissue thin, transparent bits and pieces by the millions I gave to you…
To be received, to be tended
or to be rendered useless as you deemed fit
old inhabitants of terra firma.
Slivers of my soul….
What did you do with these pieces of me?
Where are the misplaced microscopic stars of my spirit, where are they laid?
Did they dissolve beneath a soft autumn rain?
Or burn in the heat of a cruel summer day?
Were they consumed by the dust mites of fate?
Giving me away was easy….
Getting me back seems nearly impossible.
I saw a fleck of glitter this morning,
caught in an abandoned web of time.
I retrieved it ever so carefully, pulling away the tiny choking strands; polishing it in the palm of my hand till it shone bright like a minuscule star… exploding…
and I recognized it as the twinkle I once saw
in a smiling photo of me.
*The poem Getting Me Back lent its name (and guidance) in the memoir styled book of poetry. It also lured me back from the land of “bat shit crazy” 😉
I thought a lot about yesterday’s post; about the disciples and about believing and courage. And I remembered a poem written decades ago.
I do not claim to be bold and my beliefs have (more than once) been shaken.
I am not holy, hell I am not even considered a good Christian by many standards. I do not attend “church” nor belong to any denomination. I try to do as I should but y’all I sin every day. Every day! But don’t worry, me and The Lord have a relationship. We’re good. 👌🏼
I think I have always aspired to be a soldier, a Christian soldier and the poem written decades ago made me remember that.
Before I share let me say, I am aware of the cynical tone of this piece.
I said, “of this piece” because I am not a cynical person. Sarcastic, yes, but not cynical.
It’s not the quarantine or the Covid 19 bug that is bugging me, hell it’s not even the empty shelves in the grocery stores or having to wipe with an oak leaf. That is not a big deal, remember I was a piss poor country bumpkin so this just reminds me of happier days as a child.
So what brought about this Friday’s Free-For-All on this Good Friday? It’s the peee-puuul! Well not ALL the people – and definitely not you friend. (Insert winky face, smiley face and through in a bunch of virtual hugs)
Sigh. People never fail to amuse me.
So while I am feeling amused during this holy time I thought I’d get up on my Hickory stump podium and compose a poem. (And a picture)
Costumes
You look for your Jesus in a cheap red suit in December and a bunny suit come Easter.
You dress Him in costumes and [unknowingly?] mock His sacrifice.
You keep Him naked, wounded and nailed to a cross; not to remind you that he was the Passover Lamb but to have him languish in his suffering. You sacrifice him over and over again, creating molten images to hold him on the cross.
You have married Him to Santa and a goddess named Easter/Ishtar; you worship their imaginary offspring of pretty packages and hard boiled eggs, savory sweets and bunny rabbits… none of which can save you. Ha! These objects of your affection are inanimate – they cannot even save themselves!
You dress for the occasion – Sunday’s best. Is this your costume?
Donned in your fetching attire you sit down to feast and stuff your belly with unclean meats and your spirit starves. But it’s “holy”. .. So holy! You take it all in and shit it out. Cleansing?
Amidst fearful news you fret over toilet paper and regurgitate biblical verses [verses you haven’t taken the time to read, much less comprehend] and warn of Christ’s coming… of the great rapture.
Bear with me, I am feeling a little [selfish] nostalgia today. I’m not sorry either. Ahhh, I am wallowing in this stuff. No worries mate, I am still promoting poetry for National Poetry Month. That boy is a teenager now and those sweet dogs are no longer with us. Remember, lyricists are poets and lyrics are poems too.
…
Don’t blink Just like that you’re six years old and you take a nap and you Wake up and you’re twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife Don’t blink You just might miss your babies growing like mine did Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your “better half” Of fifty years is there in bed And you’re praying God takes you instead Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think So don’t blink
I chose this poem because I felt like horsing around. 😉 Once we went gaily with never a care, And the bigger the fences, the bolder we were; Once the wild wind was our spur and our lash, Once we would laugh at the splinter and crash As the rails broke behind us, and thrill to the call Of twelve foot of water or five foot of wall. Once we could cope with the bucker’s demands, Once the hard puller came back to our hands; Once the green four-year-old, fretting and free, Flinging the foam in white flecks to his knee, Bent to our bidding and held us our place, O’er the stiffest of country whatever the pace. To blood running hotly, to hearts beating strong, Not the longest of days was a moment too long; ‘Till the evening drew over its mantle of stars We would ride to the hoof-beat and rattle of bars. There was song in the gale, there was kiss in the rain; Ah! Once we went gaily-but never again! For the harsh years have stolen that magical zest When with confident courage we rode with the best. Now swift and unchallenged the braver may pass On their reefing blood horses, hard held, on the grass; The nerve is departed, the rapture denied, And the chase must be left to the young ones to rideOnce we went gaily with never a care, And the bigger the fences, the bolder we were; Once the wild wind was our spur and our lash, Once we would laugh at the splinter and crash As the rails broke behind us, and thrill to the call Of twelve foot of water or five foot of wall. Once we could cope with the bucker’s demands, Once the hard puller came back to our hands; Once the green four-year-old, fretting and free, Flinging the foam in white flecks to his knee, Bent to our bidding and held us our place, O’er the stiffest of country whatever the pace. To blood running hotly, to hearts beating strong, Not the longest of days was a moment too long; ‘Till the evening drew over its mantle of stars We would ride to the hoof-beat and rattle of bars. There was song in the gale, there was kiss in the rain; Ah! Once we went gaily-but never again! For the harsh years have stolen that magical zest When with confident courage we rode with the best. Now swift and unchallenged the braver may pass On their reefing blood horses, hard held, on the grass; The nerve is departed, the rapture denied, And the chase must be left to the young ones to ride.
By William Henry Ogilvie 21 August 1869 – 30 January 1963
Smashwords, based in Los Gatos, California, is an e-book-distribution platform founded by Mark Coker for independent authors and publishers. The company began public operation in 2008. Wikipedia
Okay maybe Smashwords isn’t that old but it is older than my Indie Adventures.
So, here’s the deal. Smashwords has a publishers option to let the reader decide the price they are willing to pay for a book as in: “You set the price!”
Yep! You can pay $0.00 or $1,000,000,000 for a book. It’s up to you. And I have made that option available for all of my titles with Smashwords. Seriously. No fooling.
Man wouldn’t that be cRaZy nice if someone dropped a million bucks on one (or all) of my books. Woo-hoo! I would be like, (happy dance ensues)
“Yo fans and frenz it’s party at my place.” We would have soooo much fun with beers and grilling and…
(Dream comes to screeching halt. Author frowns and regains composure.)
Anyway… Check it out. [Note not all titles are up on their site yet and many copies at Smashwords are from years ago but I am trying to update while adding to the list.]
I’ll let y’all know how the “You set the price” experiment goes sometime in the near future.
In the mean while just look at my Nectarine tree blooming and making little baby Nectarines. The babies look like something from a horror film now but before long they will be scary delicious.