If I were to call them by name they would not reply.
See, they are wild and untamed without need of a name for (in truth) they answer to no one.
Just in case I missed telling one person in the far reaches of Idonwannaherit (which is my husband’s country of origin) April is National Poetry month.
And guess what?! I was informed this morning that I have been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize Award. I’m thinking OMG! Am I so special they called me early? Turns out it was an April Fool’s joke. Damn you cruel jokester and may the winning of Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes forever be just out of your reach.
With the fool’s business out of the way I’d like to talk about Plath.
Not because of her life’s work. In all honesty it is/was her chronic obsession with death that compels me.
In reading Lady Lazarus with or without knowing Plath’s history I could have imagined a poet scribbling thoughts that were just that- thoughts.
But the [reportedly] last two pieces she wrote and the two small children she left behind. I became strangely fanatical.
photo by Rollie McKennaI tried hard not to judge her as a person and to focus only on the writing but I fell short. History, rumor and suspicion clouded my judgment.
When I read Nick and the Candlestick I imagined premeditated recklessness beyond her own ending.
In Balloons all I could see was her surveying her child at play – a child she would [knowingly?] soon leave motherless.
And in Edge… it would have been eerily sufficient without knowing Sylvia Plath Hughes had made for herself a gas chamber.
In doing so she had eliminated the need for an executioner so I became her judge, juror and examiner.
It wasn’t enough for me to obsess over the tragedy I insisted my husband partake of the mind numbing fixation.
His first response was, “You know I don’t read poetry. I don’t read anything that doesn’t have live game, a stock symbol or a machining program written on it.”
To that I handed him a beer and smiled, “Okay. I’ll read it to you and you tell me what you think.”
He agreed, though once I finished reading Edge aloud he held out his hand and ordered me to give it to him.
I graciously obliged.
Here it is in its entirety. Our discussion will follow.
Edge by Sylvia Plath 1963
The woman is perfected.
Her dead
Body wears the smile of accomplishment,
The illusion of a Greek necessity
Flows in the scrolls of her toga,
Her bare
Feet seem to be saying:
We have come so far, it is over.
Each dead child coiled, a white serpent,
One at each little
Pitcher of milk, now empty.
She has folded
Them back into her body as petals
Of a rose close when the garden
Stiffens and odors bleed
From the sweet, deep throats of the night flower.
The moon has nothing to be sad about,
Staring from her hood of bone.
She is used to this sort of thing.
Her blacks crackle and drag.
When he finally looked up I asked, “So what do you think?”
He took a long drink and shrugged, “She obviously wanted to be dead and she’s happy about it.”
“Yes, yes. Go on.” I urged, “What about the scrolls of her toga?”
“Sounds like the Clinton – Lewinsky thing. You know with the stained dress.”
I laughed and he continued. “Here where she says ‘it is over’ means just that – she’s finished.”
“What about the lines ‘each dead child coiled, a white serpent, one at each little pitcher of milk, now empty’ what do you think about that?”
“The Exodus? It sounds like the first Passover and the last plague in Egypt to me.” He looked back at the page in front of him and read,
“She has folded them back into her body as petals of a rose close when the garden stiffens and odors bleed from the sweet, deep throats of the night flower.”
He shook his head and returned the poem, “Did she plan to kill the kids and take them with her? I guess it doesn’t matter- It was fifty years ago, she was mentally ill and she’s glad she’s dead.”
“What about ‘the moon has nothing to be sad about, staring from her hood of bone. She is used to this sort of thing. Her blacks crackle and drag’ – what are your thoughts on that?” I asked, watching as he became more uncomfortable.
“It sounds like craziness. She was obviously mentally ill. Did you say she stuck her head in an oven?”
I nodded.
“Was it butane or natural gas?”
“I have no idea. Why would that matter?”
“Well one falls and the other rises – natural gas rises. Did she live in town or in the country? If she lived in town it was probably natural gas.”
“She lived in London, a town residence once occupied by Yeats.”
“Hell, it might have been coal fuel.” He paused as if it took added effort to ask the next question. “Did she kill her kids too?”
“No.” I answered.
His face relaxed a bit until I added, “The youngest, a boy named Nicholas hung himself in 2009. The daughter who was less than three years old when it happened went on to become a painter and poet.”
“Dammit! How’s the girl doing?”
“I don’t personally know her but she was still alive the last I heard.”
“Poor thing. Damaged people leave a lot of garbage in their wake. Hopefully she’s not too messed up.”
With that he bent and twisted the empty can indicating the discussion was over.
I mumbled a thank you, delighted I had snagged him into reading a poem yet a little ashamed that I had disturbed him with the past of Sylvia Plath.
Next week maybe I will entice him with a new poet, a living poet.
I’ll choose something lighter, funnier and maybe drag out the frayed old book Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein. The kids and I always enjoyed that one.
I will probably [silently] take a closer look at the works of Ted and Frieda Hughes, dissecting their psyches and torturing myself in the aftermath of Sylvia Plath.
Be it good, bad or indifferent I suppose I will always be a poet at heart.
One might think “real” writing (you know things like novels, short stories and blogs) would dissuade poetic tendencies but it doesn’t… and it shouldn’t.
Someone once said of poetry, “I honestly don’t know why it flies through my head but it’s like an energy that must be loosed and the only way I know to let it go is to jot it down.” Okay that someone was me but we’ve already established that authors and poets are insane a peculiar lot. At least that’s what I keep hearing from the voices living outside of my head.
Admittedly I tend to write disturbing prose. Why? I have no freaking idea other than the above explanation and this one just flew in.
He gnashed and smashed his teeth to bits
Hissing shards of peppermint
On face and lace chipped molars lit
While gums and tongue did chide
~
The air like mud was thick with scent
Red with dread and white with grit
Dentin mixed with blood and spit
Where insanity did reside
~
He snatched and scratched at lights not lit
Held cries in eyes seen through slits
Pleading, “Someone give a shit
And plump this crumpled pride”
~
But none could hear his broken mouth
Or see the lights had all gone out
With hand on heart he faced the south
And they say that’s where he died
*Here’s this year’s first reminder that April is National Poetry Month so you have plenty of time to be thinking about it. Whether you read my poetry or that of someone else plan on expanding your horizons.
P.S. My works are not always of such unsettling nature. They’re worse when I’m happy 😉
I have never loved winter. The truth is I have hated her most of my life, I say her because she feels like a cold b*tch. Sorry warm fuzzy lady friends but winter to me has been a bitter woman with a barren womb… a frustrated old spinster that has never shared an orgasm. She is an ugly gray witch with a huge wart on the end of her nose, or maybe it’s a mole…
Today however I have decided not to hate her. I actually made the decision yesterday but just now got around to sharing my ‘come to meeting’ with Mother Nature. You see we have been experiencing some warm sunny days in this part of Texas, warm enough to spark a storm (lord forgive me I do love a storm) and it was that very tempest that let me see the heart of winter.
I saw her weakness in the barren branches
Her sorrow in the ashen sky
Her longing for an absent lover
As lonely as the winter rye
I honestly didn’t know who this man was (I’m sheltered like that) until Sara’s post exposed him here on WordPress. No, I do not live in a cave though I have often wished I did.
The thing that moved me other than his world renown photography is that Steve McCurry’s Simple Act of Waiting told in pictures is [chillingly] what I imagined when I wrote Waiting. I seriously got goosebumps.
If you’re like me (sheltered and horrible with names) or you are lucky enough to live in a cave, that doesn’t matter – I know you will recognize his photos when you see them. Who could forget the eyes of the Afghan girl starring out from the cover of National Geographic? Who would want to?
Waiting
For hopes that hung on a chicken bones
For hearts that lived in chains
For pods of green that died unknown
While waiting for the rain
For dreams left bare on empty prayer
For souls that wished in vain
For tears unshared in mute despair
While waiting for a change
For you and I and all mankind
For worlds where peace was slain
For faith and mind no man can bind
We wait and wait again
Poem first published in Interior Verse © 2012. Republished 2018 in Getting Me Back
Writers are Bizarre, oh yes they are. I feel certain the majority of authors know this – those who don’t have not yet had their epiphany or come to terms with the fact. If the truth be told they are more than strange, they are obsessive odd balls bordering on schizophrenia. I suspect many have prescriptions but refuse to take the psychotropic medication because it hinders their creativity. They need to feel alive; to interact with the personalities dueling inside their heads, not subdue them. Their characters must be allowed a chance at life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as well as the right to die.
Writers are bizarre, oh yes they are. From my observations this peculiarity seems to afflict creative writers especially. Creative writers and poets. Oh, poets are creative writers? Okay. Poets are a also a grievous lot. They are constantly imagining, seeing, and feeling or thinking. They are a curious hand with six digits and a raw nerve. Most of them are bereaved with some sort of incurable pain. Odd thing is it’s usually not their pain but the aches of every one and every thing around them as if they carried the weight of the world on their shoulders. On occasion one will write about the joy or beauty found in something. Usually that something is what the rest of earth’s inhabitants dismiss or take for granted on a daily basis.
Writers are bizarre, oh yes indeed they are. They carve out niches for indolent thoughts, sow seeds of cerebration, offer rest to weary secrets, and give birth to imagination.
Now what sort of world would this be without these flaky, freakish, alien-like individuals?
Gone would be the greens and reds, lost to slow decay. In place of all the rainbows bled – a shade of muted gray.
For this weeks photo challenge I went immediately to an old jewelry box and looked inside. I recall rummaging through my grandmothers costume jewelry like a pirate with precious booty.
Mine is filled with trinkets of cheap metals, faux pearls and inexpensive stones but they are treasures to me and every piece holds a dear memory of the bestower. This weeks theme also inspired me to share a prose from Interior Verse (which is free via kindle right now) titled The Chest of Hope.
The Chest of Hope
It’s just a small brown wicker basket not built to hold much and a bit tattered from over handling.
Its beautiful warm browns have dulled and faded with age on the outside but inside the natural luster still shines. Its top is held in place by make do leather ties because the first woody hasps were worn in two and now dangle loosely without purpose.
What hands made the airy coffer? I wonder as I stroke the thin smooth fibers.
Was it one as handsome as the tight weaves frayed by time?
Though dust has long since claimed his finger prints-
I know that he was a weaver; I imagine that he was a dream weaver…
Diligently intertwining each cane thread with my hopes in mind…
A place to store my breathing dreams so that they could be kept safe and close at hand, amassed in a beautiful fibrous reminder.
A quaint little chest of hope I will one day hand down to a child, a grand child or perhaps even a great grand child when I have used up its contents.
When I have taken the dusty lid off one last time and felt deep into the corners to make certain I haven’t left any ideas untouched.
I imagine when I offer it up to him or her they will look at me like I’m crazy (and I may well be) then they’ll tear the lid off expecting to find a treasure of sorts before saying with disappointment, “It’s just an empty old basket.” It is then I will share with them the wishes and ideas that were stored and later born of that basket. How they were kept safe till I could see them come to fruition. And one more time I will imagine the handsome dark skinned man who meticulously weaved the wonderful piece…a place to store my dreams because dreams need room to breathe.
Then I will show them how to place their own aspirations into the old auburn chest with caution to keep them safe, to nurture their hopes and give them time to mature.
And if my last wish were to come true I will see them realize the birth of their visions.
Ancient Egyptians reportedly considered the pomegranate as a symbol of prosperity. I haven’t researched the information yet to know if one must eat the fruit, own the tree or simply hold one in their possession to be prosperous. Surely worship of the seedy little crop is not required…. if so I shall have to remain not so prosperous. On the other hand I would consume as many as need be. Honestly, I don’t have much faith in pomegranates other than their health benefits.
I do however have some faith in publicity which is the sole purpose of this post, to make readers aware of the current promotions.
Perpetual Spring, a short little twisted story is free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th.
Interior Verse Plus Pose Prose and Poems, a diverse collection of “wicked poetry” is also free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th 2012.
The Goodreads giveaway of Between the Rage and Grace has started and will end July 15th 2012. The promotion is open to multiple countries.
P.S. I’m sorry for the late notification on the Kindle freebies that started Friday. I was out of town and quiet bummed by the passing of a dear family member. I’ll try to improve on the publicity aspect and keep a pomegranate on hand. Maybe we’ll all prosper 🙂
Thanks to Mary Ann @ http://mypenandme.wordpress.com for listing me as one of her recommended blogs and sharing The Sunshine Award. Check her out.
My answers to the questions are as follows:
Favorite color: The rainbow
Favorite animal: The humanoid
Favorite number: 5
Favorite non-alcoholic drink(s): Coffee, Iced tea, Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Coke
Facebook or Twitter: Both
My greatest passion: Reaching abandoned goals
Favorite day of the week: Tuesday
Favorite flower: Gardenia
*The Sunshine Award guidelines are:
1. Link the award to the person who gave it to you.
2. Answer the questions that come with it.
3. Pass it along to other bloggers and let them know they have received it.
Krrrisshh–x–rrassshhhhhhh- Oops I’ve got a bad signal. I’ll have to write back later.