I do not love shopping but my awesome daughter is taking me [us] on a cruise this fall so… I shopped. I do love bargains so the experience was almost enjoyable.
I don’t like trying on clothes either so I grabbed a few things off the rack and hurried home. The husband thought it would be wise to make sure the clothes fit before we set sail. He’s practical like that.
So the amateur model show began…
Yay! It fits well enough and isn’t this a cute little hat? 
Double yay! Another excellent guess on size err-um.
By the third change the excitement was waning and so was my patience.
“Have you considered some makeup and accessories?” the husband smirked.
“Have you considered kissing my backside?” I replied through a stress-clenched jaw.
“How about something with a little more color? Maybe some shoes and a pedicure for those garden toes?” he laughed.
“Lord have mercy sweet baby Jesus!” I grumbled.
“What’s wrong ?”
“I look like a red waffle cone topped with peach ice-cream and you’ve got my feet at war with one another! ”
“Calm down old woman you look good to me.” (That is his favorite go-to line.)
After I changed back into my ‘don’t give a poo’ daily wear and relaxed I asked the husband if he had been shopping – if he had planned his wardrobe.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” He says, “It’s a cruise — cruises are for relaxing.”
“You’re right dear.” Sigh. “Clothes are so overrated. I’ll pack a swim suit and pajamas.”
The Real Janna Hill 