Follow Me to Fame (The Numbers Game)

Everyone who is anyone has a twitter account, right? Well that’s what the promotional experts say. I want to be somebody, after all I am trying to sell books. But (for me) it’s not just about the selling I actually like people. I like to interact with them from time to time. I understand that is an outdated concept so call me old fashioned.

Anyway I opened a twitter account and for the most part I have met some interesting people and enjoyed getting to know a little bit about them and the work they do. A few of them just run naked down the twitter isles yelling buy my_____.

I suppose I am like any other tweeter who wants to be famous; I get a warm fuzzy feeling over new followers. As a matter of fact I check my mail first thing every morning to see if I have a new follower. This morning low and behold I do and there is more than one!

Yippee! I am pumped. From their profile [at least what shows up in my inbox] they look interesting. They’re acclaimed authors, bloggers, writers, photographers, anchormen, comedians, media moguls etc… so I hurry over to twitter to have a better look. I could click follow from the inbox but that would be too impersonal. I must go over in person and say hello, make them feel welcome and thank them. I mean, my gosh! These awesome upper echelons with thousands of followers want to follow a nobody like me?

My fingers are trembling against the keyboard as I log in. I nervously wait those 2.2 seconds for the page to load and all the while thinking Yes! Oh lardy yes, I already know I am going to follow them too!

Then the ‘hmm’ moment. I glance to the left at the double digit numbers that are the same as they were a week ago. That can’t be right so I hit the follower’s tab and guess what? They’re not there!? I’m devastated! My awesome followers have disappeared. How can that be? How could I have offended them before even saying hello?  Is this a cruel joke? Should I search them out and ask them what changed their mind? Should go back to my inbox and hit follow???

I seriously consider laying my head on the desk and crying but I can’t stop laughing long enough.

The numbers game that is being played to make one look important just strikes me as funny. To look good on twitter, to seem ‘sought after’ the number of people following you must be significantly higher than the number you follow. So how do you do that? You follow someone just long enough for the notification to be sent and then you un-follow them. Most of them will never notice because they’re too busy running naked down the twitter isles hoping you will buy something and follow them to fame.

[heavy sigh]

In closing let me say, thank you for that beautiful millisecond we shared but sorry Joe, Jim, Lisa, Dianne and all of you other fabulous, possibly famous, most popular peeps on the world wide web. I’m gonna sit this one out.

Book Quiz: Between the Rage and Grace

There will be no red markers or downward adjustments to your GPA I promise. There will be no raising of hands and no roll call, you shall remain carefree and nameless. This quiz is just for fun.

Of course if you score well feel free to brag 🙂

Here are ten questions from the first book in the series Between the Rage and Grace.

Clickers ready? Go!

 

Oops, My bad (The Consolation Prize)

It has been brought to my attention that I did say I would offer a consolation prize for those not winning the giveaway of Behind the Rage in trade paperback by running a free kindle promo of said title. I realize [now] that the giveaway was over in May and I have had more than a month to list the free kindle version.    I won’t insult you by saying I thought I did or with excuses of how busy I’ve been or that I’ve had a debilitating sinus infection although I do have a doctor’s excuse and receipts for Kleenex to prove it. I won’t bore you with my short term memory problems or the possible onset of dementia…

I’ll just say Oops, my bad, I’m sorry and I’m gonna do it right now. It should be showing up on Amazon as $0.00 starting Tuesday July 10th – Saturday July 14th. If not then just go ahead and shoot me with your nerf gun.

And seriously I want to say, Thank you all for your support and patience.

Deleted Scenes

Just for fun I thought I’d share a few scenes that didn’t make the final draft(s).

Deleted Scenes

Between the Rage and Grace

“ER — this is Clara.” The anxious nurse spoke into the phone. After listening attentively to the switchboard operator, she giggled and replied, “Send him on back.”

“What have we got?” Maggie asked, without looking up from the tangled mess of yarn meant to be a sweater.

“Um… a sixty two year old male who says he took two Viagra five hours ago and he can’t… uh… he can’t get it down.”

“Well what goes up must come down.”  Maggie pretended not to notice Clara’s stammering or the red glow lighting her face. She shoved the knitting materials back into the bag and added, “That is the law of physics Clara Bell.”

“Have you ever seen priapism before?  How will we treat it?”

“Prepare the sheaths! Limber thy hips!” The older nurse announced, jumping to her feet with a fist in the air. “And let the games begin!”

**Editor yells “CUT!”**

Behind the Rage

“Mary Magdalene-” he whispered, “are you menstruating?”  She didn’t answer. Slowly he eased the blanket from her motionless body, hesitated briefly and returned the cover. She could see him floating toward the door.

“Wait!” she urged.

Without turning the priest murmured, “I can not. Your condition will make me unclean. I’m sorry.”

Frustrated that the opportunity for revenge was passing, that she would not get the item she needed to bind the perverted priest, she hissed, “Then squawk like a chicken.”

Bwaahk, bwak, bwak. The cleric pressed his hands to his mouth but was unable to silence the involuntary sounds.

**Snip snip snip and the sound of paper hitting the floor**

Unjustified Favor

“Oh, come on Maggie. Why do you have Mr. ‘Mean-ass I can’t stand nobody not even my hateful stinking self’ on my schedule?” Clara asked with an exaggerated frown.

“Because you’re low man on the totem pole.” Linda interjected, “I would go but you know I’m too fat to run from the mad dachshunds.”

“Right! And why do we even have to deal with those two dogs?”

“Want me to tell you how to handle them?” Linda asked.

“Yes, please.” Clara replied.

“Okay. Here’s what you do. Are you listening?” Clara nodded and moved closer. When Linda was certain her coworker was waiting with bated breath she continued, “Approach them slowly, and speak gently so they don’t feel threatened.”

“Okay.”

“It’s easier to contend with one of them at a time – I suggest you work with the slower one first.” Clara nodded again. “Sit down and offer them a treat, a dog biscuit dipped in peanut butter would be nice – keeps their little mouth busy and dogs like peanut butter.”

“Uh huh. I can do that.”

“As soon as one of them, remember the slow one first, as soon as he gets within easy reach grab him firmly by the neck.”

“Why?”

“Don’t interrupt; this is the most important part.”

“Sorry. Go ahead.”

“As I was saying, grab him by the neck firmly. When you’ve got a sure hold on him squeeze with both hands as hard as you can.” Clara’s eyes widened and Linda watched as her jaw dropped exposing an open mouth. She wanted to draw out the details but it was getting harder to keep a straight face. “As soon as you see his eyes bulge, squeeze harder – give it all you’ve got. Do this until his tongue hangs out and his little body goes limp. When he’s not breathing you’ll be half way done with your dog problem. ”

**“CUT – CUT- CUT!!!”**

But editor what if PETA rushes in and throws Linda to the floor and she yells “Can’t you see I’m pregnant.”

**No! I said cut dammit!”**

Where to buy the books

Between the Rage & Grace, Behind the Rage & Unjustified Favor are combined in The Rage TrilogyUpdate; When the fourth book (Cloud Wrangler) was imagined in 2017 we couldn’t call the set a “trilogy” anymore so, the Clan Destiny series was born.

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Pomegranates, Publicity & Prosperity

Ancient Egyptians reportedly considered the pomegranate as a symbol of prosperity. I haven’t researched the information yet to know if one must eat the fruit, own the tree or simply hold one in their possession to be prosperous. Surely worship of the seedy little crop is not required…. if so I shall have to remain not so prosperous. On the other hand I would consume as many as need be. Honestly, I don’t have much faith in pomegranates other than their health benefits.

I do however have some faith in publicity which is the sole purpose of this post, to make readers aware of the current promotions.

Perpetual Spring, a short little twisted story is free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th.

Interior Verse Plus Pose Prose and Poems, a diverse collection of “wicked poetry” is also free via Kindle through Sunday June 17th 2012.

The Goodreads giveaway of Between the Rage and Grace has started and will end July 15th 2012. The promotion is open to multiple countries.

P.S. I’m sorry for the late notification on the Kindle freebies that started Friday. I was out of town and quiet bummed by the passing of a dear family member. I’ll try to improve on the publicity aspect and keep a pomegranate on hand. Maybe we’ll all prosper 🙂

The Wild Pomegranate photo by Janna Hill

The Sunshine Award

Thanks to Mary Ann @ http://mypenandme.wordpress.com for listing me as one of her recommended blogs and sharing The Sunshine Award. Check her out.

The Sunshine Award

My answers to the questions are as follows:

Favorite color:  The rainbow

Favorite animal:  The humanoid

Favorite number:  5

Favorite non-alcoholic drink(s):  Coffee, Iced tea, Cherry Pepsi, Vanilla Coke

Facebook or Twitter:  Both

My greatest passion: Reaching abandoned goals

Favorite day of the week:  Tuesday

Favorite flower:  Gardenia

*The Sunshine Award guidelines are:

1. Link the award to the person who gave it to you.

2. Answer the questions that come with it.

3. Pass it along to other bloggers and let them know they have received it.

Krrrisshh–x–rrassshhhhhhh- Oops I’ve got a bad signal. I’ll have to write back later.

Pursuing Characters – Self Analysis 101

Pursuing characters under the guise of vacation? Maybe yes.

In case I haven’t already said it 1001 times I recently returned from a coastal vacation traversing the southern end of the Gulf of Mexico USA. I say it’s the western end and Honey my husband usually corrects me. It was our Spring break – just me and the husband because the children are all [WAY] grown.      It was a celebration for me after finishing the latest book Unjustified Favor and definitely a needed break for him. He still has a real job where he has to punch a time clock and deal with irrational people expecting miracles. I’m constantly amazed at how freaking genius he is  and no that is not sarcasm. Sometimes he’s an asshole – that isn’t sarcasm either. He’s a tool and die maker. Well I think his title is something like plant engineer/CNC programmer now because the hands on making of tools and dies is a dead dying art. Anywho I didn’t know the trade required such intelligence until our youngest daughter was taking physics in college and he loaned her one of his antique text books.

Okay, I just digressed so far I forgot the reason for this post…

Oh! Self analysis and we were traversing the Gulf of Mexico. For those who haven’t read Between the Rage and Grace or Behind the Rage the setting is southern with the characters hailing from Mississippi to Texas. The third book in this series (due to release this month) has them settled into the south/southwest Texas regions. So we were soaking up the sunshine, enjoying our drinks and marveling at the sky when it occurred to me… I was constantly looking for Linda, wanting to check in on poor Clara, worried someone might find Maggie and thought I saw Levi and Mary in a heated discussion on the beach. Upon closer examination I realized it wasn’t them. I’m gonna post a picture of that delusion. And once I thought I saw the nasty ghost of XXXX but it was just an old drunk passed out beneath a palm tree, whew!

So, I know the characters were born of experience but Freud might go so far as to say I am delusional or that I have such a deep attachment  that I went in search of these fictional characters. Is that true? Maybe yes, but Freud was a coke-head.

Strangers on the Beach by Janna Hill

The final words of Unjustified Favor

I’m sending me flowers because I just sent the book over to the editors. Typed the final words about a half hour ago.  Yep -that’s right, I did it.  [me strutting arrogantly and wallowing in oleanders  until the corrections come rolling in]       But tonight I sigh a deep sigh of relief filled  with self respect (( :)))    It’s a thin bubble ladies and gentlemen that I dwell in .

congratulations to me for beating the first deadline.

40k words written and it IS a Holiday

I reached the self imposed point and allowed myself some time off – it is after all a holiday. The third novel in the series (Unjustified favor) is near completion and it is Memorial Day week-end. So I filled up on brisket, pinto beans, potato salad and ice-cream cake then hung out with the whacky  farm animals. Oh and I have more insects and a few flowers to share later :))