dogs

From Getting Me Back (A Poem & A Picture by Me & of Me)

/ Janna Hill / 2 Comments

I cannot count the number of trips taken in that old station-wagon, but I do recall the passengers (nine, twelve and sometimes fifteen) packed liked sardines in a can; damp and smelly and filled with anticipation.

janna 1976

…

Looking back: It is like sitting in the third row seat of an old station wagon, staring ahead at the road behind you…

It is not enough to sit in the front seat and see where you were going – you didn’t know anyway. To understand how you got here you have to look at where you have been.

In that third row seat facing backwards you might be tempted to stare at the floorboard or the marks on your shoes or the stripes on the asphalt that never seem to end, but don’t. To understand you must look up, look back and accept the scenery for what it was.

When the pain and fury and fear rise up —  remember it is only a hill in the distance, you have already passed over. That queasy feeling in your stomach is no more than a sour memory.

…

I speak as if caressing scars and lament but what of the scars I have inflicted? Do I grieve for them? The answer is yes; indubitably yes.

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Reminder: This is the last day Getting Me Back (The Voices Within) will be FREE  (April 18th through the 21st). It is also the last “A Poem & A Picture by Me & of Me” for this year’s NPM. You can do your happy dance now. 😉

Oh, and Clan Destiny (Unjustified Favor) Book 3 in the series is your complimentary title for April 21st -23rd. Have a super-fantastic read filled weekend and I’ll see you next week.

Life on the Farm (With Boudro the Fearless Boar)

/ Janna Hill / 1 Comment

While I was away, the husband renamed our dog. Buddy now wags his tail to Boudro.

The truth is, Buddy, ummm — I mean Boudro wags his tail to nearly everything. He is such a social creature. Life on the Farm (9) (1280x1085)

This morning I introduced him to my new pets.

Shhh, I know they may grow up to be BLT’s but let me have my moment, okay? Thank you.

Life on the Farm (5) (1280x931)

As I was saying, I introduced Boudro to Charlotte, Wilbur, Charles and Wilbur II. Now this crazy Chihuahua (who originally told me his name was Patrick) insists on being addressed as Boudro the Fearless Boar.  Life on the Farm (11) (1280x849)

Really?

Well… in this day and age, why not?!

An Interview with M.F. Wahl’s Women In Horror (And How I Put My Dog to Sleep)

/ Janna Hill / Leave a comment

“You can win an Audible audiobook set or one of Janna Hill’s signed paperbacks (winners choice)!”

Just visit M.F. Wahl’s Women In Horror and leave a comment.

“One person will be chosen at random to receive this awesome prize.”

The Thinker, Buddy & The Gossiping Reeboks.

/ Janna Hill / 1 Comment

Why I chose The Thinker for the final post of National Poetry Month.

A few months ago we acquired Buddy from a lovely family after our Blue Heeler was killed. His prior family said they couldn’t keep him (for a number of reasons), said they hadn’t even named him but I suspect they were fibbing; a little white lie to ease our grief.

Right away our family asked what we were going to name this little fellow. Without thinking (in my typical weird, off the cuff manner) I blurted out, “He told me his name is Patrick, but that we could call him Buddy.” The grand-kids believed me, excited that I could communicate with dogs. The children mumbled something about having me committed. I just smiled and thought, at least I don’t talk to shoes.

Weather casts a green hue (1280x1229)

The Thinker

by William Carlos Williams

My wife’s new pink slippers
have gay pom-poms.
There is not a spot or a stain
on their satin toes or their sides.
All night they lie together
under her bed’s edge.
Shivering I catch sight of them
and smile, in the morning.
Later I watch them
descending the stair,
hurrying through the doors
and round the table,
moving stiffly
with a shake of their gay pom-poms!
And I talk to them
in my secret mind
out of pure happiness.

We later found out that Buddy’s name was ‘Gus’. My husband couldn’t wait to share that bit of information.  I said something like, “Aww, I knew they sacrificed their sweet puppy out of pure kindness.” He of course really wanted to make the point that the dog had NOT told me his name was Patrick.  At that point I had to be honest…

“Hmm… Well, he didn’t really say his name was Patrick.” I admitted.

“I KNEW IT!” Husband gloated.

“What he actually said was that he was born Patrick Gustav, but he prefers to be called Buddy.”

The husband politely conceded and took Buddy out to find a new stick.

I was relieved that the issue had been settled once and for all until Buddy ran back in to tell me something; a disturbing bit of gossip actually. He said after the lights are out and the house is quiet that my Reeboks snicker and mock me, they laugh at the way I run!

The shoes, of course have the right to their opinion and I (of course) have the right to stomp around in altered footwear.

I find they fit much better minus the tongue. 😉

“The Thinker” was published in Williams’s book, Sour Grapes: a book of poems (The Four Seas Company, 1921).

Don’t let poetry die from neglect or sit gathering dust until next April.

May I suggest a nice anthology by HWA,

HWA Poetry Showcase Volume I

AND I Have 25 free promo codes from Audible for Pose Prose & Poems narrated by Linda Roper if anyone is interested.

Crazy Conversations (Christmas & Kitty)

/ Janna Hill / 11 Comments

Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them. Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one. This is a work of ‘true fiction’ inspired by family. The names have been changed to protect the guilty

(Ring, ring)

Me: Hello.

Bea: Did you get anything nice for Christmas?

Me: I’m fine thank you. How are you?

Bea: I didn’t ask how you were doing. Did you have a good Christmas?

Me: Yes I did. Did you?

Bea: I got the same old junk I get every year. Why do people ask you what you want if they are not going to give it to you?

Me: Did everyone make it home this year?

Bea: I have house shoes stacked waist high in my closet and enough gels and lotions to open my own Bath & Body Works.

Me: Hey that’s an idea. Maybe you could open a little shop and call it Foot & Body or Bea’s Bath & Slippers.

Bea: Don’t be absurd!

Me: It was just a thought.

Bea: Well it was a tacky little thought and besides they make perfectly good gifts for friends and in-laws.

Me: By the way thank you for the foaming cranberry soap. I love the smell and-

Bea: How is your dog? Did you get the dog anything for Christmas?

Me: Which dog? I have three.

Bea: The Chihuahua! I am not concerned about the ones that live outside.

Me: The dogs are all fine and they each got a bone for Christmas. The kids are fine too.

poor dingo dog (1024x845)

Merry Christmas you poor dumb dingo.

Bea: A bone?! That’s not a decent gift.

Me: They were happy with it.

Bea: Who – the children or the dogs?

Me: Both.

Bea: Well the dogs don’t know any better. You should get a cat. My Kitty would never settle for a lousy bone. Isn’t that right Kitty Kitty? Yes it is. You’re mommy’s wittle princess; her itty-bitty baby. Mommy wuvs her sweet Kitty Kitty yes she does.

Me: Did you ever consider naming her something other than Kitty Kitty?

Bea: That would be ridiculous. Her name has been Kitty Kitty for six years. Her won’t answer to anything else will you baby? No her won’t. She wuvs her name and she wuvs her mommy. She’s not like mommy’s other babies – no she’s not. She’s a good girl. Aren’t you a good girl?

Me: Should I let you go so you can talk to the cat?

Bea: Why don’t you get a cat? They are a lot smarter than dogs and they don’t stink.

Me: You know I am allergic to ninety percent of the domestic feline population.

Bea: Well you need a cat. Real writers have cats. Surely you could find one in the ten percent of the populace you are not allergic to. Have you ever tried?

Me: The other ten percent smell worse than dogs.

Bea: Malarkey! Cats do not stink.

Me: Dead cats do.

Bea: That was a cruel thing to say. She was just being facetious Kitty Kitty. She’s jealous, that what she is. Dog people are mean aren’t they? Yes they are. They are meannie weenies but mommy will protect her pretty Kitty oh yes she will. Do you want mommy to make her apologize? You do? Okay I’ll tell her –

Me: Put the cat on the phone.

Bea: Here she is.

Me: Kitty Kitty are you there?

Bea: She can hear you, go ahead.

Me: Did you ever watch a sitcom called Friends?

Bea: She has watched every single rerun at least once.

Me: Kitty Kitty do you know the song Phoebe sang?

Bea: ‘Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat what are they feeding you?’ We laugh at that every time we hear it.

Me: Well Kitty that song was written about your mother.

Bea: Don’t tell her that! Now you really need to apologize.

Me: Forgive me Smelly Jr. – I mean Kitty Kitty. I’m sorry you’re a cat – it’s not your fault.

Bea: Ignore her baby; she’s just a nasty ole dog hugger. So did you get a lot for Christmas?

Me: Are you talking to me?

Bea: Of course I am talking to you! Who else would I be talking to?

Me: I got everything I wanted.

Bea: That’s good. Listen dear, I’m already working on next year’s list and I have you down as a size 8/9 in house slippers. Do you have a color preference? I’m thinking red, blue or leopard print.

Me: The red or blue either one would be nice.

Bea: Hmm. I thought you would prefer the leopard print?

Me: I would but isn’t that what I gave you last Christmas?

Bea: Hello? Hello? The reception here is terrible. I haven’t heard a word you’ve said since your apology to Kitty. I’m sorry sweetie I’m going to hang up now – call me back in a day or two. Oh and Merry Christmas.

Me: Merry Christmas Bea.

(Click)

Good Morning

/ Janna Hill / 10 Comments

Q: What does your morning look like?

A: My mornings consist of coffee (lots of coffee), a walk and being greeted by the most awesome guard dogs in the world. See how they saved me from that turkey in the background?

Thank you for keeping that vicious turkey at bay
Good morning Morning Glory
Inspired by a change in weather

I wake the flowers up ‘good morning Morning Glory’ and forecast the weather by holding my wet thumb in the air. Sometimes I lick it, sometimes I let one of the dogs do it for me.

Today’s forecast: FABULOUS. It is cloudy and seventy degrees.  The wind is up, the temperature is down and there is a real honest to goodness cold front blowing in. 🙂

Gloomy skies are the perfect inspiration for dark stories so I had better get busy before the weather changes.  You know the old saying “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change.” “why lick your thumb if someone else will do it for you.”