Author: Janna Hill

Finding What Was Never Lost

/ Janna Hill / 9 Comments

A twenty dollar bill stashed in your wallet, old friends on the Internet, the other sock and a favorite book. What do the aforementioned have in common you might ask? They are all things that were never really lost but simply overlooked for a span of time.

Isn’t it like finding a treasure when you’re reunited? The mingled relief and excitement of rediscovering something so precious you find yourself doing the Hercules hand-clap. Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! You’re doing it right now aren’t you? Me too! Because Joy! Rapture! Look what I have found. My old friend Webster’s Encyclopedia of Dictionaries. Not being able to do much for the last week (thank you influenza) I was rummaging through the library in search of couch entertainment and voila!

I seriously love this book. I should be ashamed of its broken binding and battered appearance but I’m not. It has been over handled and shared with children before they could even read. It was my firstborns Good Night Moon. It has been my friend, my coach and my counselor. If someone had a question the answer was only pages away. Well maybe not the answer to the missing sock but we all know that’s not really a mystery. They typically return after they tire of hanging out in alternate universes, sipping martinis with wayward thongs. Of course their mate has usually moved on but that’s another story for another time.

 

Like running into an old friend.
Reminiscing.
The scars of faithfulness.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Illumination

/ Janna Hill / 15 Comments

Illumination

This week’s photo challenge is titled Illumination. While looking around for a shot that aligned with the challenge (defined as light, brightness, radiance, brilliance, clarification or enlightenment etc…) I came across a souvenir from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. It’s a softball sized globe that sits atop a stick and reminds me of the Reunion Tower in Dallas, except the souvenir spins a lot faster. Maybe that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be; heck I don’t know I stole it from a grandchild just found it lying around. Anyway, you press a button and this gadget puts on a fascinating little light show which by the way reminds me of an enlightening story my grandmother once told me about her trip to the circus.

First allow me to shed some light on my grandmother. She was a tad peculiar by some standards. Correction she was outright odd, offbeat and utterly deranged at times. I loved her dearly but come on, who in their right mind tries to gnaw the head off of a screaming gray squirrel? In her defense I must say the rodent did bite first – she merely wanted to teach him a lesson. She was a tough cookie who didn’t take guff from any creature and as hard as she was there beat a tender childlike heart within her bosom.

I wish I had been there under the big top when my uncle took her along with his family to see the circus when it came to town. I know she was mesmerized by all of the excitement; the delight was still in her voice as she recounted the day’s events.  She laughed about the trained elephants and giggled at the silly clowns, held her breath when reminiscing about the trapeze artists and shook her head and shuddered in disbelief when it came to the high line exhibition. “It was the darndest thing you ever did see Jennavenay.” That’s what she called me. Not because she couldn’t enunciate Janna René, she preferred Jennavenay and that is all she ever called me. I asked her once if she knew my name, she pronounced it plainly and just as plainly added, “I don’t like it. I call you Jennavenay and you answer to it-that’s good enough.” And I suppose it was.

It took a moment or a few chuckles before it occurred to me she had a tooth missing from her upper denture. “What happened to your tooth Grandma?” I asked. “Spot light did it.” She said matter of factly.

“Oh my goodness, someone hit you with a spotlight?”

“No silly girl” she says, “They had beams of light like magic shooting all over the place and one come right across my face and knocked my tooth out.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” I replied with all due respect but my doubt alone ruffled her feathers. I should have heeded uncles warning when I saw him shaking his head in the background but it was too late and Granny was on a tear. She’d heard they had “lasers that could burn holes plum through metal and doctors were usin’ `em to cut folks open for surgery. It shouldn’t surprise anybody that if one hit you just right it could knock a tooth out by golly!” I seceded with a modest “I suppose stranger things have happened.” Besides, how could one argue with such clarifying logic especially with a woman who would go tooth to tooth with a wild squirrel?

 

A radiant flame and its image.
The tiny light that guides us so we don’t pee on the floor in the middle of the night.
A possible replica of the illuminated demon that took Grandma’s tooth.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Resolved

/ Janna Hill / 6 Comments

My New Year’s resolution for the last 40 years has been NOT to make resolutions. What I was doing ten years prior to that I have no idea; I had to be in bed by 9 PM. I do however seem to recall a span of about three decades where my resolve was to be drunk at midnight and to kiss every good-looking male within lips reach. Now THAT was a  resolution I could keep! It’s also probably the reason for my chronic mononucleosis.

I was looking back through some old photographs and you know what? Not all of the men were that good-looking. Those were probably the safe ones. It is a scientifically proven fact that handsome men carry diseases and ugly men make good husbands. Okay maybe it’s not scientifically proven but don’t burst my bubble. To have caught mono from an ugly dude might be more than my fragile psyche can stand.

On a more serious note I suppose I did make a resolution in 2012 when I decided to become an independent author. I just didn’t think of it in terms as a ‘resolution’ at the time. I opened an official website, started blogging, face booking and tweeting. Not really into the tweeting but by golly I have a twitter account.

I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to make a 2013 resolution in regards to photography. I would like to become more adept at taking decent great pictures but I’m not sure how it is going to work out. Would you believe this morning I caught my Nikon snapping at the keyboard and strangling the mouse? Yeah, that that sounds crazy but it really happened! I think my resolution will be to make them best friends.

Things fight when you're not looking.

Things fight when you’re not looking. I resolve to make them allies.

The Reality Blogger Award (Yep!)

/ Janna Hill / 8 Comments

A shout-out and thank you to the KnowledgeKnut for this nomination. I haven’t been this thrilled since I won the Biddy award for best supporting actress in Last of the Red Hot Lovers {cough} years ago. I still have that little chicken statue…

There are conditions attached to this award (see below) and answering these questions were part of said conditions.

    If you could change one thing what would you change?

My own tires.

    If you could repeat an age, what would it be?

The Stone Age. Otherwise I’m content with my current chronological phase.

    What one thing really scares you?

The only thing that really scares me resides in my imagination.

    What is one dream you have not completed, and do you think you’ll be able to complete it?

To sell one million books in one month. I’m not sure that is realistic (most dreams aren’t) but I’m optimistic.

    If you could be someone else for one day, who would it be?

Hmm, only one day? I guess I’d better stick to being me.

Another stated condition was to choose up to twenty bloggers. I couldn’t, there are too many great ones so I chose a [diverse group] of seven off the top of my head. Yes, they were just perched up there having tea on my cranium and I had to get them down so…

Island Traveler @ This Man’s Journey

Erika Clay @ Creative Liar

Humbled Pie

Elizabeth @ Mirth & Motivation

Doug @Writingfictionblog

Hillybillyzen

Staci Troilo

Here are the rules. Abide by them if you can 😦

Visit and thank the blogger who nominated you

Acknowledge that blogger on your blog and link back to them

Answer the 5 questions presented

Nominate up to 20 blogs for the award and notify them on their blogs

Copy and paste the award on your blog somewhere

Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 In Pictures

/ Janna Hill / 8 Comments

Here is the official submission for last week’s challenge: My 2012 In Pictures. Hey, I made an effort AND I had a note! If you hurried to get your shots in on time you will be pissed happy to know this: Sara extended the challenge. 😀

The first few months of 2012 were spent writing and choosing book covers. And occasionally dressing to check the mail.
I don’t really think this was April but isn’t that a pretty red spider?!
Sneaking up on dead insects- that’s what I do best.
And I thought I was busy…
The grass was starting to grow so I got a couple of goats.
Greedy horn-worm. (His insides were a bright chartreuse)
I went to the mud bogs and broke in a new Nikon. (That was such a bad idea)
Playground on a September day. Oh the ruckus a puppy can cause…
Goodbye dragonfly… So long summertime.
A proud little pumpkin carver 🙂
Golf, a groom and no more balls 😦
A hazy December sunrise and another year closing.
My how time flies on the back of a turtle.

There Is No Place Like Home

/ Janna Hill / 10 Comments

Can’t you just see Dorothy clicking her heels? There is no place like home. There is no place like home…

I’m sorry, that’s as funny as this post is going to get.

There is no place like home. Most people would agree with that. Some would even tell you there are places far worse than home. Those are the places we avoid, the places we fear. The places we sometimes absolutely refuse to abide… But sometimes we’re forced into such places.

As most know I recently returned from holiday and as everyone knows (or anyone that’s ever left home for more than 12 hours) things stack up.

I was sorting through an endless list of digital solicitations when I came across an article. This article was not a solicitation; it’s a magazine I actually subscribe to. The article was written back in November and titled Patients Have the Right to Choose Death From Bedsores by Art Caplan from the division of medical ethics at the NYU Langone Medical Center in New York.

(If you don’t subscribe to Medscape you can see most of it here or here)

I won’t bore you with the legalities or the medical jargon but the point made was this: a person’s right to die has far-reaching effects. That in itself is not anything new but the method in which the man chose to die was essentially unheard of.  The article did not delve into the gory details of dying by decubitus but more of how one person’s decision might affect those around them. Their right to die and how that right might disrupt the well-being of people indirectly related to them.

To die from bedsores – to choose to die from bedsores strikes me as a horrendous way of exiting this life yet I must respect that person’s right as much as I would anyone’s refusal of life-prolonging measures.

Much controversy and upheaval came about due to this man’s decision. He simply refused to be turned. The poor gentleman was cautioned regarding the onset and side effects of decubitus ulcers – essentially that pressure sores would develop, his flesh would rot, infection would set in and death would be slow, malodorous and uncomfortable to say the least. Being of sound mind he declared this his fate. You see the gentleman could no longer live in his own home after suffering a series of debilitating strokes and thus decided not to live at all.

The sad thing about his choice was not only how it affected him but everyone else in the hospital. For five weeks (that’s how long it took) it is said that the odor grew stronger as he grew weaker. The room in which he stayed was treated as isolation not due to contagions but to contain the stench as much as possible.

He had one daughter.

It is not my intention to judge or point fingers, this man was of sound mind, an opinion substantiated by professional reports. I don’t intend to weigh in on the family dynamics other than to express my sympathies. I’m not up for debating Kevorkian issues, to each his own and let your conscience be your guide. So what is this post about? I’m not really sure except to possibly bring light to the reality that our decisions reach far beyond the tips of our fingers and our own demise… and the fact that there is no place like home.

Weekly Photo Challenge: My 2012 In Pictures

/ Janna Hill / 7 Comments

This weeks photo challenge is titled My 2012 in Pictures but what I offer is not really mine.

Have you ever ran by the deli and grabbed something for a potluck dinner, plopped it into a bowl, squished it around and hoped people might believe that you made it yourself? Well, me neither but this feels like that scenario might IF I had a clue about such things.  I want to offer up something for such a feast but I am still on holiday [aka away from my satchel of jump drives] so in lieu of my 2012 pictures I am posting a link to the Dallas Morning News  2012 Year in Review by Michael Hamtil/Photo Editor. This may seem like a cheat but I have a written excuse.

Please excuse me Janna Hill for her semi-lame participation in this weeks photo challenge. She is away on holiday.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Surprise

/ Janna Hill / 9 Comments

Surprise surprise surprise! The infamous words of Gomer Pyle  echo in my memory but to my own surprise they don’t annoy me like they did some forty years ago.  That is probably because I have matured just a little. I am no longer burdened with the need to be cool and now find myself longing for a simpler time, an era where trust and naivety could walk freely among crowds, if there ever was such a time. Maybe there was and it rests on a reel of black and white film stored somewhere in sunny California?

Or in a box of old photographs in Texas…

Or under a live oak tree with a tire swing…

Or maybe, just maybe in a little dog’s dreams of Christmas.

I wouldn’t be surprised if all of the above are true.

Amazed at old photographs. Even when you’ve seen them a hundred times.
Little girls are always full of surprises.
I’m surprised she let me put the cap on her head.

This weeks photo challenge is (you guessed it) SURPRISE.

Crazy Conversations (Enumerating Kin)

/ Janna Hill / 5 Comments
Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them. Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one. This is a work of ‘true fiction’ inspired by family. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. CAUTION: They cuss.
 
Enumerating Kin

Cousin Bill: We need to get together more. Somebody ought to plan a family reunion before all of us are gone.

Sue: Yes, someone should take charge and do that, not that you would go – you haven’t gone to any of the other ones.

Cousin Bill: I didn’t know there were any other ones.Front Porch & Family Photos

Sue: You say the same thing every time.

Betty: Don’t get on his ass. You ain’t been to many of `em yourself missy!

Sue: I wasn’t getting on his ass. If I was getting on his ass he would know it, trust me.

Cousin Bill: It kinda felt like you were gettin’ on my ass. Matter of fact I think you left a mark.

Sue: Poor baby, you want Betty to kiss it and make it all better.

Betty: I’m not kissin’ his hairy old butt.

Cousin Bill: It ain’t hairy. It’s smooth as a baby’s bottom. You wanna see?

Betty: No thank you.

Sue: I do.

Betty: You’re sick in the head girl if you want to look at his rear-end.

Sue: You looked at it so I guess you’re sick in the head too.

Betty: My lookin’ was an accident. I turned my head as soon as I could but I gotta tell you I still have nightmares about it.

Cousin Bill: Would somebody just plan the damn reunion already!

Sue: Betty you’re the oldest why don’t you start a list of paternal relatives and we’ll go from there.

Betty: What is paternal?

Sue: From the father’s side.

Betty: Oh that’s easy. Let’s see… there is Aunt Lou and Uncle Delbert-

Sue: They are from mother’s side of the family and they passed away twelve years ago.

Betty: So you want just the live ones?

Sue: I think the dead ones might have a problem making it to a family reunion.

Cousin Bill: I imagine they’re having their own reunion in heaven. God rest their souls. Sue would you get me another beer?

Betty: I’ve seen dead people at reunions.

Sue: Just make the list Betty we don’t have time for your ghost stories.

Cousin Bill: Lord knows her stories do go on. We’ll all be at that heavenly reunion by the time she finishes.

Betty: Why does it have to be just Daddy’s side? That’s plum rude.

Sue: Let’s work on one thing at a time. We can make a maternal list later.

Betty: What’s maternal? Never mind, I know the answer.

Sue: Good.

Betty: But I don’t think there will be many people show up at a reunion for pregnant women.

Sue: Dadgum you’re sharp as a tack. So how many have you got on the list so far?

Betty: Ummm. What ever happened to Jim and all of those girls? And Jerry and his wife – none of them had any boys did they?

Cousin Bill: Nope. No males to carry on the family name. I reckon we’ll disappear from the annals of history.

Betty: Annals. Is that the same as anus?

Sue: That’s right Betty, it is. That is called a synonym. Don’t worry Bill I’m sure the county has an accurate record of you.

Betty: Well that makes sense now. Curtis is a history butt and he is always talking about annals.

Sue: So you’ve got Jim and Jerry’s clans. Who else?

Betty: You know they had three sisters and a couple of brothers that was stout enough to produce some male offspring. They each had at least five kids and most of `em was boys.

Cousin Bill: What does stout have to do with it?

Betty: A man’s seed has got to be strong to make a boy. Can’t have no little pecker either. Boy seeds are puny little swimmers; they have to be planted deep. Yep, you gotta park `em right on top of the ovary or they’ll never make it.

Cousin Bill: I think I’ll go get me a beer.

Betty: Did you know there are millions and millions of sperm released every time a man relieves his self.

Sue: When he urinates?

Betty: No dummy. Piss don’t have sperm in it. When he umm… you know… has an orgasm.

Sue: Why are you whispering? Orgasm is not a dirty word.

Betty: Well it sounds vulgar to me. It sounds like oral – makes me think of oral… you know. Come to think of it, that might be the reason Jerry and his wife never had any boys. And Jim too. Girl they was puttin’ it in the wrong hole!

Sue: Oh dear lord baby Jesus. You don’t really believe that do you?

Betty: Do you have a better theory?

Sue: No. No Betty I don’t. Let’s forget about the millions and millions of misplaced scrawny sperm for now. How many do you have on the list?

Betty: Two.

A short, short story about a timeless life.

/ Janna Hill / 7 Comments
Inspired by Time and Eternity, on a topic I have often dwelt on and for whatever reason I feel compelled to share a piece written in in 2011. And congratulations to Snowak for being Freshly pressed

 A short, short story about a timeless life.

Consumed by a paralyzing and debilitating dread. Lying inert as frenzied milliseconds spark still frames with bursts of terrestrial years past.
Whirling memories so fast they pin my mind to the wall with such intense pressure I cannot even utter why or what.
And then…
Quiet… Calm… Tranquility as clean and clear as the waters of a mountain spring. A peace more pure than morning dew.
Entrancing light more than warms and welcomes me, it heals me.
All of my troubles now seem trivial, fleeting, and totally unimportant.
I am overcome by a sense of well being… an indescribable comfort that makes pain, sorrow and worry words I no longer  comprehend.
There are no strangers here, I know everyone and everyone knows me. The glowing they emit is untainted and wholesome, it is love and it nourishes my spirit.
The further I travel from this flesh and bone shell, the more peaceful and perfect I feel.
Awakened to the memory of such wonder and well being I can see the universe. Where we have all been, where we are going, together.
I am not grieved for anyone who is not here, only grateful for those present.
I want to ask questions but none of them really matter now. The few inquiries I have are answered before I can speak:
Yes, they are here. The answer is no. Time? Time has many meanings. .. All in due time.
A sudden jolt and I awake ensnared in this weak, pained, decaying carcass. More aware now of all these imperfections, though less troubled by them for they are the fate of every man to some degree.
I am made aware that the anxiety of transition will remain. As it was coming into the flesh, it will be when returning to the spirit. Much like the fear of a roller coaster one is determined to ride.
Death comes to every life and life comes from every death.
And me…. I nearly lived.