Writing

Weekly Photo Challenge: Forward

/ Janna Hill / 15 Comments

This week’s photo challenge is titled FORWARD not foreword as in preface, prologue or introduction although I am prone to confuse the two or is it too? It’s two.

The pictures should convey what forward means to the photographer. I considered a covenant i.e. a contract or an agreement (since I couldn’t use an overview) but those definitions didn’t inspire a snapshot. Maybe an advance like a picture of a million dollar check? Yeah, right. How about the front of an object? No that won’t do. Think (I said to self) forward as in opposite of reverse. And voila! It was as simple as going for a ride.

Construction is moving forward.
This is more of a standstill.
Which way should we go???
Away from the city. Onward ho! Mush mush!
Some move faster than others.
Leaning forward & rural construction. They call it progress.
Growing forward on a quiet country lane. (The tree & pole seems to be reaching for one another)
Well phooey! It may look like the end of the road to some…
I call it an adventure. It’s not IF we are going forward but HOW. 🙂
Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Keep moving forward.

How I met Maggie and Almost Killed Clara

/ Janna Hill / 7 Comments

I was wading in the surf on Matagorda beach one warm, sunny day exchanging dialogue with Clara.

I had known Clara for about ten years and I have to admit, conversing with her was like pulling teeth. I don’t want to say she was dull, but she was too quiet and a tad introverted. Don’t get me wrong, she is a lovely girl. She is smart and pretty and sweet and kind, but she was just too darn nice for the most part. Too calm, too reasonable, too… dull! There, I said it!

Anyway, as I was wading in the surf, dragging my feet (literally to scatter the sting rays) I was thinking how I might kill her. I know that must sound horrible, we had been comrades for so long, but she wearied me. Her unspoiled, hoity-toity, prim and proper, everything by the book personality made me want to send her sailing face down with the outgoing tide. I think she knew it (she has a sixth sense thing, you know) and I figured she wasn’t going to fight me. It wasn’t in her nature. I thought maybe she wanted to die?

I had mulled it over and finally come to terms with the decision when a perky little blonde came running down the beach waving and shouting,

“Hey y’all wait for me.”

Oh my lord, I thought, while trying to ignore the thin, tanned Mississippian’s approach. I quickly shoved Clara toward the incoming wave but her feet were planted too firmly — she didn’t budge, and to my surprise she pushed back!

“Do you know her?” I asked.

Clara shook her head slowly and replied, “No but you do. You met her on a trip to Biloxi once.”

I was speechless.

“Hey, I’m Maggie,” the lady smiled as she looked past me and held out her hand, “you must be Clara.”

I suppose it’s true that opposites attract. I watched Maggie come alive and in doing so she saved Clara.

*This is a story about a story. Clara and Maggie are safe and sound (for the most part) inside a fictional series.

Read about their meeting in Book 1

Crazy Conversations (Moe I’m Dying)

/ Janna Hill / 8 Comments
Cotton, peas, your friends, your seat, your nose… There are a lot of things you can pick. Family isn’t one of them. Disclaimer: Life is crazy, people are crazier and my family… well they get the crazy award if there is one. This is a work of ‘true fiction’ inspired by family. The names have been changed to protect the guilty. CAUTION: They cuss.
 

Moe, I’m Dying

Pippin: I got my lab reports in from the doctor. There’s an H beside half of them, what does that mean?

Kit: High. H means high, L means low.

Pippin: I know that! What do these numbers say about my health?

Kit: Ask your doctor. I forgot to lay anything out- what do you want to eat?

Pippin: I don’t know. Answer the door.

Kit: You answer the door, I’m busy.

Pippin: Come on in man. Did you hear the bad news? I just got handed a death sentence… Moe, I’m dying.

Kit: Do you want chicken or pork chops for dinner?

Pippin: I’m dying and she wants to know if I want pork chops for dinner. Do you see what I’m dealing with Moe?

Kit: We have left over pork chops. They smell a little funny but I think they’ll be okay if I rinse the sticky stuff off.

Pippin: It ain’t bad enough the pork is killing me slowly; she has to add ptomaine to the mix. Have you ever had ptomaine poisoning Moe? It’s bad, real bad. You’ll have to watch that when I’m gone, don’t eat anything around here or you’ll be a goner just like me.

Kit: Okay would you rather have the chicken? It’s still frozen but I could microwave it for a minute or two then fry it.

Pippin: Did you hear that Moe? My only alternative is a radioactive chicken. Not only will it be full of cancer causing radiation but she’s going to boil it in oil so she can finish me off.

Kit: I’m not boiling it in oil, I’m frying it.

Pippin: What’s the difference? My arteries don’t know the difference. My cholesterol is 5000 and you want to argue?

Kit: Oh, you’re talking to me now?

Pippin: See Moe, she’s hoping I’ll get mad and have a heart attack right here in front of her. You’ll have to call 911 – she won’t do it.

Kit: Stop telling him that! You are not dying.

Pippin: I’ve got high blood pressure-”

Kit: And your cholesterol is not 5000, there’s no such thing. No one has ever had cholesterol that high.

Pippin: Don’t listen to her Moe. Look at this here report. I’ve got high pressure, high sugar, high triglycerides…

Kit: You’ve got high hopes too if you think that dog gives a hoot about all of your ailments. Moe, you want a pork chop?

Pippin: Now she’s just trying to hurt my feelings. You love me don’t you Moe? Come back here. Moe heel! Moe… Moe? Dammit Moe you know I’m dying.

Learning to Love Winter

/ Janna Hill / 15 Comments

I have never loved winter. The truth is I have hated her most of my life, I say her because she feels like a cold b*tch.  Sorry warm fuzzy lady friends but winter to me has been a bitter woman with a barren womb… a frustrated old spinster that has never shared an orgasm. She is an ugly gray witch with a huge wart on the end of her nose, or maybe it’s a mole…

Today however I have decided not to hate her. I actually made the decision yesterday but just now got around to sharing my ‘come to meeting’ with Mother Nature. You see we have been experiencing some warm sunny days in this part of Texas, warm enough to spark a storm (lord forgive me I do love a storm) and it was that very tempest that let me see the heart of winter.

I saw her weakness in the barren branches

Her sorrow in the ashen sky

Her longing for an absent lover

As lonely as the winter rye

 

I saw her weakness in the barren branches…
Her sorrow in the ashen sky
Her longing for an absent lover…
As lonely as the winter rye

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: Love

/ Janna Hill / 14 Comments

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s love got to do, got to do with it. Only everything! The lyrics of Tina Turner’s song are entertaining but they speak from a damaged point of view. Resounding fear disguised as brashness, calloused pains and the inability to get past unhealed scars.

What’s love but a second hand emotion. Her voice is bouncing around in my head but all I can imagine are happy hearts.

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?  Everyone Tina. Everyone needs a heart. Sure it is bound to be broken at least once but so are bones.

Is it better to have never loved at all? Does one suggest a hardened heart? If bones can be broken so can a brittle heart. Nay, I say it is better to love always. Don’t argue with me on this Tina, I know broken bones tend to heal faster than broken hearts but that’s because a bone has never known the fullness of love.

The Heavens paint a lovely picture with a heart shaped cloud.
Love doesn’t care what you wear when you’re fishing.
There is nothing like a mother’s love
Spying on young lover’s Lake Tawakoni
Salty kisses that say I love you.
Heart shaped lines in the sand. May only sorrows be washed away.
Oh heck, now the Bee Gee’s are asking me How can you mend a broken heart? … Love Barry! All you need is love.

Scrapbooks & Culls

/ Janna Hill / 4 Comments

Did you know that scrapbooking is not the same as collecting culled items?  Well it’s not. So what am I supposed to do now with a junkyard collection of photographs? I know they’re snapshots only a mother could love and a professional photographer would never get so attached, but I didn’t claim to be professional. Did I? Dear me I hope not. I think my husband propagated that misconception; he’s always getting me into something. He doesn’t read this blog so it’s safe to make that statement.
Well, with the bride’s permission (and a promise to make her a character in a future story) I’m giving scrapbooking a whole new meaning. If word gets back to hubby and he doesn’t agree with my prior statement I have an entire scrapbook with his name on it. I just giggled to myself at the idea of all the pictures he thought got thrown away. 😀

 

How Do They Do That?!

/ Janna Hill / 7 Comments

More Indie Adventuring

Amazon is the all-seeing eye! Seriously I put my housecoat on before I sat down to write this and if you’re naked you should grab a cover too, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

I know now they see everything or I see now they know everything…  Either way I am aware of their stealthy little spies and spiders, that they are constantly surveying the World Wide Web. How? I don’t know the how’s of such spyjectory but I do know that if you have a title with KDP Select (Kindle Direct Publishing) and you publish it elsewhere they will hunt you down and bring it to your attention. They may go so far as to kill your stuffed bobcat, lord I hope not.

In all fairness the KDP Select agreement states digital books will remain exclusive to Amazon. Well…

A few months ago I decided to combine a series into one e-book The Rage Trilogy. It just so happened one of the books in the series was still signed with Amazon’s KDP Select. I know! I thought I un-checked the box for automatic renewal but apparently I didn’t. The Rage Trilogy was never in KDP Select but it includes a title that was.

Lesson(s) learned: 1) Next time make certain! 2) OCD might come in handy. 3)  Amazon is bigger than the CIA and IRS combined. 4) Spyjectory is my favorite new word. (Call me Merriam and I’ll define it for you)

So now I’m all nervous and a bit paranoid because I received this e-mail from The Eye Amazon where they named the [one] book and included a link to the trilogy @ Barnes and Noble.

How do they do that?!

Here’s a copy of the e-mail:

Hello,
We found the following book(s) you’ve published doesn’t meet the KDP Select content guidelines. Books enrolled in KDP Select must be exclusive to Amazon in digital format while enrolled in the program.
Unjustified Favor (Between the Rage and Grace) (ID: B008D94WHM) is available on:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-rage-trilogy-janna-hill/1113580485?ean=2940015523058
Please copy and paste the entire URL above into your web browser to see where we found your book. You can also do an online search for your book to discover where else it may be available.
In order for your book to remain in the KDP Select program, we’ll need you to ensure that it is exclusive to Amazon within 5 days from the date of this email. If, after this 5-day period, your book is still not exclusive to Amazon, it will remain for sale in the Kindle Store, but will be removed from KDP Select. Upon its removal, it will no longer be eligible to earn a share of the KDP Select fund.
Please note that repeated violations of the program’s exclusivity requirement may result in loss of KDP Select benefits for all books you have enrolled in the program, such as participation in the Kindle Owner’s Lending Library (KOLL) and the usage of free promotion days, as well as KDP account termination.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Beyond

/ Janna Hill / 8 Comments

For this weeks photo challenge Beyond I didn’t have to go much further than my porch. I snapped these shots of the boys as they drove through the field, a little faster with each pass until they were outside my comfort zone. Once they were on foot I put the camera away and left them to their explorations. I leave you with a little ditty summing up ‘Beyond’.

Beyond my lens, beyond the grins a young man’s confidence blooms

Beyond the tress, beyond the fence…  yonder mischief looms

“I think I can…”
“Oh yeah, we got this”
“I feel the need – the need for speed!”

Finding What Was Never Lost

/ Janna Hill / 9 Comments

A twenty dollar bill stashed in your wallet, old friends on the Internet, the other sock and a favorite book. What do the aforementioned have in common you might ask? They are all things that were never really lost but simply overlooked for a span of time.

Isn’t it like finding a treasure when you’re reunited? The mingled relief and excitement of rediscovering something so precious you find yourself doing the Hercules hand-clap. Hercules! Hercules! Hercules! You’re doing it right now aren’t you? Me too! Because Joy! Rapture! Look what I have found. My old friend Webster’s Encyclopedia of Dictionaries. Not being able to do much for the last week (thank you influenza) I was rummaging through the library in search of couch entertainment and voila!

I seriously love this book. I should be ashamed of its broken binding and battered appearance but I’m not. It has been over handled and shared with children before they could even read. It was my firstborns Good Night Moon. It has been my friend, my coach and my counselor. If someone had a question the answer was only pages away. Well maybe not the answer to the missing sock but we all know that’s not really a mystery. They typically return after they tire of hanging out in alternate universes, sipping martinis with wayward thongs. Of course their mate has usually moved on but that’s another story for another time.

 

Like running into an old friend.
Reminiscing.
The scars of faithfulness.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Illumination

/ Janna Hill / 15 Comments

Illumination

This week’s photo challenge is titled Illumination. While looking around for a shot that aligned with the challenge (defined as light, brightness, radiance, brilliance, clarification or enlightenment etc…) I came across a souvenir from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. It’s a softball sized globe that sits atop a stick and reminds me of the Reunion Tower in Dallas, except the souvenir spins a lot faster. Maybe that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be; heck I don’t know I stole it from a grandchild just found it lying around. Anyway, you press a button and this gadget puts on a fascinating little light show which by the way reminds me of an enlightening story my grandmother once told me about her trip to the circus.

First allow me to shed some light on my grandmother. She was a tad peculiar by some standards. Correction she was outright odd, offbeat and utterly deranged at times. I loved her dearly but come on, who in their right mind tries to gnaw the head off of a screaming gray squirrel? In her defense I must say the rodent did bite first – she merely wanted to teach him a lesson. She was a tough cookie who didn’t take guff from any creature and as hard as she was there beat a tender childlike heart within her bosom.

I wish I had been there under the big top when my uncle took her along with his family to see the circus when it came to town. I know she was mesmerized by all of the excitement; the delight was still in her voice as she recounted the day’s events.  She laughed about the trained elephants and giggled at the silly clowns, held her breath when reminiscing about the trapeze artists and shook her head and shuddered in disbelief when it came to the high line exhibition. “It was the darndest thing you ever did see Jennavenay.” That’s what she called me. Not because she couldn’t enunciate Janna René, she preferred Jennavenay and that is all she ever called me. I asked her once if she knew my name, she pronounced it plainly and just as plainly added, “I don’t like it. I call you Jennavenay and you answer to it-that’s good enough.” And I suppose it was.

It took a moment or a few chuckles before it occurred to me she had a tooth missing from her upper denture. “What happened to your tooth Grandma?” I asked. “Spot light did it.” She said matter of factly.

“Oh my goodness, someone hit you with a spotlight?”

“No silly girl” she says, “They had beams of light like magic shooting all over the place and one come right across my face and knocked my tooth out.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” I replied with all due respect but my doubt alone ruffled her feathers. I should have heeded uncles warning when I saw him shaking his head in the background but it was too late and Granny was on a tear. She’d heard they had “lasers that could burn holes plum through metal and doctors were usin’ `em to cut folks open for surgery. It shouldn’t surprise anybody that if one hit you just right it could knock a tooth out by golly!” I seceded with a modest “I suppose stranger things have happened.” Besides, how could one argue with such clarifying logic especially with a woman who would go tooth to tooth with a wild squirrel?

 

A radiant flame and its image.
The tiny light that guides us so we don’t pee on the floor in the middle of the night.
A possible replica of the illuminated demon that took Grandma’s tooth.